Don't Judge Me Too Harshly ...

Have I mentioned I'm the team teacher for the Sunbeam class? A class with 15 kids on the roll and between 6-10 that show up regularly. They are a haven of pent up energy, avid curiosity and lots and lots of needs. LOL 

   Somehow today we lost a kid. From the primary room to our class room, one of them slipped off and followed another class. She didn't notice the different teachers, the change of kids in the class, not even the different class room!

    I mentioned to the other teacher as we made our way to our class that it seemed like we were missing a kid. I thought I had counted 7, but somehow we went down to 6. We were both pondering on who was missing but kind of just dismissed it, when we both saw a teacher walking down the hall hand in hand with our missing little tot.

 What could we do but start laughing??  I ask you?!?  Afterwards, we both mentioned how calm it had seemed without this certain bundle of energy who calls herself a Sunbeam.  Ha ha!! At least it all got worked out. Seriously, I am going to make Kate Gosselin's kid rope idea so we don't have to worry anymore about losing kids. . . . . . .

Things I Love: Valentines Day Edition

Jamberry Nails: 


                            
 These things are amazing. They're fun. They make me feel cute and put together and feminine.
My girls love them. They leave them on. We can wear them for 2 weeks and they look awesome.
Love.

Pickles:
  
I love them. Bronwyn loves them. Mirren loves them. Reed likes them. Aftyn doesn't like them.

My Family:   

Bad picture of me, cute picture of my son on his baptism day

Thrift Store Shopping: 
        
                                           My happy place! And usually for under $20!!

Worcester 2nd Ward:  A place where Heavenly Father helped us to grow and change in ways
we otherwise might not have. Hence the love we have for the people who helped us through all that growth. And the places we enjoyed along the way.

 Melty Ice Cream: 
        
         Hard ice cream is fine, semi-soft ice cream is better, but melty ice cream that is almost like milk but more like a shake is DELICIOUS! I cannot resist it! Which is why we just don't buy ice cream that often because I have no resistance. ;)

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints : 
                 
I am grateful for the testimony I have of its truthfulness, of the guidance and purpose I find in its teachings. Of the eternal principles I have confirmed in my heart as I teach my girls its truths and teachings. I'm so grateful for our nightly scripture reading! My testimony resounds in my chest and grows with each  chapter we read. I watch my girls ask questions and gain confidence in the things they learn in those books. Amazing.

Good Friends/Family:  They support me, they love me, they help me limp along sometimes. I'm grateful for even the smallest gesture because it can mean a lot more than someone might think. I hope I am the same kind of friend to those around me, and if I'm not, I hope I can continue working to that end.

Love: 
                              
        

                                          'Nuff said.

The Sun is Out!

I love the random sunny day that breaks up the monotony of the gray, bleak days of winter here in Idaho.
It's the day everyone takes advantage of the sun and finds themselves outside to bask in its glory.
We open our windows to invite fresh air and sunshine into our homes.
We take a moment to clear the cobwebs from our minds, and clean out the dark places we sometimes hide in to get through the yucky winter days.
I'm grateful to be clearing my head, opening wide my windows and inviting fresh sunshine into my home and into my heart.
Hope springs eternal, eh?

Just Have To Keep on Going

I'm so far behind on blogging. Eh. Oh well. I can't sit and think about it or I just don't want to write and that's not good either!

       January went by way too fast. We spent most of our month on our own with Reed out of town WAY too much. We had 2 straight weeks where he was gone from Monday through Friday or Saturday. Yuck!! And then the last 2 weeks have been pretty similar. Poor guy. He's so tired from driving so much. He's so tired from working sunup to sundown and trying to do his regular work AND do tradeshows. When we get him on the weekends, it's just too short. BUT he's finally hit a lull for a few weeks and we are SOOOO happy!! 
     This last week we went and met him in Twin Falls where he was doing a show and we stayed with him in his motel and enjoyed the pool, the breakfasts and the exercise room. :)  There are definite perks to his job. We got to see my sister Alyson while we were there and went to our favorite shopping spots there as well! So that was fun.
        Aftyn and Bronwyn are both the same as ever. Playing, fighting, reading books, and having fun. Bronwyn has decided to start testing the waters again and has begun screaming(!!) when she feels really hurt or gets really hurt. Seriously. I just let her get it out of her system and then figure out what's really wrong and if she's going to die anytime soon. Which she isn't, but she doesn't know how else, I guess, to communicate that she's really hurt. Oh my. We're working on just using our words, something she has been struggling with for a long time. Hopefully sometime soon she will figure it out and she'll learn to be more patient with herself and all of us. 
             Mirren is still not walking, but she's getting a lot more steady on her feet in general. Also, she is a very steady knee crawler now, very rarely breaking out the army crawl. Her clothes show it. ;)  She just started climbing onto things this week, figuring out how to climb up on the couch, onto stools, and anything else she can. She loves it and it's cute to watch. She has 2 teeth on top and 2 on bottom and it looks like she's getting 2 more teeth on bottom. We'll just see what actually happens. I laid her in Bronwyn's bunk bed tonight to see what she would think about sleeping in a big girl bed. She laid there so quietly, not even moving, with the cutest little grin on her face and the blanket pulled up to her chin. She didn't want to move but looked a little uncertain about the whole thing. Uncertain if I was going to leave her there for real.  I called Reed up, who has been saying he thinks she's too little for a big bed. After seeing how happy she was, Reed changed his mind. LOL  We'll be changing her sleeping arrangements here in the next week or so. She's going to love it and I'm excited!

Okay, I'm challenging myself to keep up the blogging! I want to get back into the habit, and I'm challenging myself to figure out what the heck is wrong with my computer so I can upload pictures from my camera.

Long Gone

Oh friends.
Our computer is still broken and my life is just crazy enough that I just don't care right now.
Too much on my plate but I have got to write about what is happening in life
or else I'm going to be sad I missed too much.
Christmas was awesome!
So fun.
So memorable.
We had a beautiful white Christmas.
Aftyn was so excited this year.
I loved how, with her first few gifts she squealed "This is just what I wished for!".
Oh what fun!
Bronwyn loved everything, but that's just Bronwyn.
She's got enthusiasm for everything!
Even Mirren surprised me by being genuinely interested in each gift she opened.
Most kids get frustrated at this age and just want to play with the wrapping paper.
But not Mirren. Of course not Mirren.
Because she's different and she's happiest that way!

New Years was quiet and fun.
We went to bed early and Mirren woke us up at midnight.
She's kind like that, especially when teething like mad.
(3 teeth and one on the verge of popping through.)

The holidays were awesome.
 Now to enjoy our way through the rest of winter!
We're doing our best.
We're hoping to find a fun winter carnival of some sort around here.
And take any opportunity we can to go sledding!
I've decided to have a different take on winter.
I usually hate it with a vengeance. Gray days with no sun.
This winter, my first winter gluten free, feels a lot better than normal.
I feel happier. I feel calmer. Maybe it's all my working out lately.
Either way, here's to a happier winter for us all!

Real Stuff

I'm just having a tough day today and I need to write it out.
I'm feeling like a bit of a failure in the mother department. Cross that over with dropping off gifts with my son's family and thoughts in that department and, well, it's pretty much a recipe for "is there something wrong with me?".
This is a dumb question, but how in the heck do you reconcile yourself with not being perfect?
It's a stupid question, I know, but some days I just can't get over my own imperfections. I want
to have kids who are well behaved and respectful. I don't know the perfect recipe for making them
that way. I'm trying my best to help the 3 of them the best I know how, but sometimes I wish I had a partner who could see things the way I see them. I wish I had a partner who could be around more to help me when I'm feeling overwhelmed. A best friend who could have the time to give me when I'm having a rough day and feeling like I could use a hug. And a comforting shoulder to lay my head on. I realize, I'm a very emotional person. I am a deep thinker who feels things deeply. It sometimes takes me weeks to realize what the heck is bugging me and why I can't seem to find full happiness.  Call it what you will, it's just been one of those days. When a lot of stuff hit the fan and I was left picking up the pieces by myself. Some things definitely need to change in my life, but I'm just not sure what.
        Truthfully, Christmas this year feels sad. My relationship is not what it once was with my son's family. It makes my heart ache. It makes me worry a little for him and for myself and my family as well as his. How to fix it, I don't know.
       My kids are growing up so fast and suddenly we're dealing with things that feel like they're just smacking me in the face with no prior warning. Not big stuff and yet it is big stuff.
       Reed is gone too much and is too worried about work stuff and just doesn't have enough time for himself so I feel guilty asking for his time for me and our family.
        I'm feeling anxious, and worried and slightly depressed. Eating chocolate and any other carb I can get my hands on hasn't helped one bit. I feel as if I may not be being true to myself in every relationship in my life and that makes me sad. I've been there before and it got me in a whole lot of trouble. I don't want to go to that place of unhappiness and frustration with myself again.
        I feel spread so thin and yet Reed and I feel like we're supposed to be adding to our family. Yesterday I was feeling okay about that, even good! Today I am thinking, "What the heck are we thinking?!?".   Most of all I wish I could sit down and have a conversation with my husband about all of this and feel like he was actually listening. Yup...... I'd pay any amount of money to make that happen.

We Need An Update!

So, new things around here. These would include:

               Mirren got her first tooth yesterday. Hallelujah. Saints be praised.
  She likes to do "The Wheels on the Bus" arms, but she can't/won't clap. Go figure. She can also stand, but doesn't want to do it in case it might lead to walking because heaven forbid she try to be like everybody else. LOL  She loves to do EVERYTHING her older sisters do. If we don't include her, she will get upset. Or not go to sleep until after we're done not including her in scripture reading/singing a lullaby. And then insist on being laid back down again. She got pretty animated at the dentist office today. I think if they had let her, she would have had a tooth cleaning. Just because her older sisters did it. Her little tooth stub would have been so shiny! ;)

           Bronwyn is still herself. She has almost mastered writing her whole name. W's are hard to write. She keeps writing them upside down like an M. She has begun making up songs about any nonsensical thing. It's pretty funny. It also confirms how much she is going to LOVE the kid microphone she is getting for Christmas, and how tired we are going to get of it. She is still the finder of all things lost, and likes to put things away where they go. She is totally my kid in that department. Not in the finder of all things though. That's a total anomaly. She is looking forward to Primary. I will be one of her primary teachers. That should be interesting....  I sure hope she doesn't scream in class the way she screams at home....we're working on that one. Being gluten-free totally agrees with her, except I am thinking she may have a dairy allergy. She still has weird excema over a large part of her body. It's odd. I need to try going dairy free for her to see if it helps.

       Aftyn is reading! I love it!! I love the homework she brings home from preschool that includes sentences that she can sight read. A-may-zing! She loves preschool. She has become a different girl since starting it. She is a huge help at home. She is such a big help with Mirren. Everytime she picks Mirren up for me, Mirren starts laughing. It is the cutest thing! Aftyn is a fun and quirky little girl. We sure love her! She wants a pet more than anything. It is so cute. I told her a few weeks ago that when we were done having kids, I wanted to get a puppy. So now she tells me all the time that she wishes we could have some more kids so we could get that puppy. Oh what a kid!

      Reed is busy with tradeshows off and on and when he's not busy with tradeshows, he's busy with selling scales. Poor guy, he's pretty busy most of the time. It's nice when he gets to take a little breather and relax. He works so hard for us and tries so hard to be there for us as well even when he's out of town. We sure love him!

       I am doing well. My neck has decided to revolt, probably due to stress, so right now I've been trying to take it easy and ice it and whatever else I can do to help it not hurt. I'm hoping it will be better in a few days. It's only been hurting since Sunday night. I'll be fine. Mom's have to be, right? In the meantime, we're all decorated up for Christmas over here. Sure wish I could post some pictures. Oh well.

    There's your update! We're alive!!