14 years ago today, I was in a hospital bed with my newborn in my arms. Tired because I had given birth later in the evening the night before and then called his dad, my ex-husband, at work to tell him I had had our baby. And then I had stayed up into the wee hours of the morning when he got off of work and came to see our little guy.
I knew that once he saw his sweet little face, he wouldn't be able to face the idea of placing our son for adoption. And I was right. He begged me to please re-consider this plan I had made. That we could be a family and we could keep our baby. But I knew the truth and it was that he was scared. He was scared to hurt as much as this would hurt and he knew that the decision I had made was the best decision for our son. Do you know how much this makes me cry even as I type this?!?! Because even now, I know it is true and I know how much pain I've gone through in making this decision that has broken my heart over and over and over again over the last 14 years. But our little son, who was so precious and trusting and pure, needed more than we could offer to him.
When he finally knew that I wouldn't re-consider, he hugged our sweet little son,looked into his eyes and left. And that was the last time he ever saw him in this life in person. Because my ex husband died last year and they will never have that opportunity again in this life.
It was 2 am and Carlos, my ex, promised me he would be coming back later before I left the hospital on the 1st of January to "say goodbye". So I went off to sleep with my mother in our room and I slept with my little babe in my arms because I wanted to soak in as much time with him as I possibly could. Every hour in the hospital I cried because it was one hour closer to handing him away and saying goodbye. So, 14 years ago, I was having each of my siblings come to meet my little Isaac and so many of them did. All but one sibling was able to come to the hospital and hold him. Sometime during that day, I received a visit from my counselor from LDS Family Services and he brought with him a flower bouquet from the couple I had chosen to parent my baby. He was there briefly and I carried on with my day of holding my son with my limited "forever". And in the evening 14 years ago, my mother made me wear a happy new years hat and balloons and all kinds of party decorations and I just sat in that hospital bed with my baby in my arms and my eyes red from crying because the next day would come placement. And my baby would not be "my" baby anymore. And so I just kept crying on and off all night. Much like I am as I write this.
Loving our ever changing, crazy, fantastic life
Sunday, December 31, 2017
Tuesday, December 26, 2017
14 Years Ago Today, What I Remember
14 years ago today, I was hugely pregnant and tired beyond belief. I was 2 days away from my due date with no end in sight. This was both relieving to me and vexing. I was, typically, so done with being pregnant but I knew that each day I wasn't in labor was one more day with my baby boy before he was gone to live with his family.
The day before, on Christmas Day, my parents and 2 sisters and I had gone to my sister Suzette's for a Christmas morning breakfast. I recall eating too much, feeling too full and then feeling tired. Sounds like a pregnant lady, right? But my poor brother Jon and his wife, upon not being able to find anyone at my parents home, thought that surely I had gone into labor on Christmas and then spent some time on the phone calling around to the hospitals to find us. That memory has always made me feel a little bad and made me laugh. How spectacular would it have been to have a baby on Christmas, just like my Grandpa Whiting had been born as well. And also, all these years later, I'm grateful for the few days cushion between Christmas Day and my son's actual birthday. It helps me to have time to be happy before I find myself lost in my memories and the celebration of a life lived separately from mine.
The day before, on Christmas Day, my parents and 2 sisters and I had gone to my sister Suzette's for a Christmas morning breakfast. I recall eating too much, feeling too full and then feeling tired. Sounds like a pregnant lady, right? But my poor brother Jon and his wife, upon not being able to find anyone at my parents home, thought that surely I had gone into labor on Christmas and then spent some time on the phone calling around to the hospitals to find us. That memory has always made me feel a little bad and made me laugh. How spectacular would it have been to have a baby on Christmas, just like my Grandpa Whiting had been born as well. And also, all these years later, I'm grateful for the few days cushion between Christmas Day and my son's actual birthday. It helps me to have time to be happy before I find myself lost in my memories and the celebration of a life lived separately from mine.
Saturday, December 16, 2017
Tired
Over the past 16 days, I have traveled to Nampa and back, Ogden and back, Bountiful and back and today thanks to awful driving conditions only to Pocatello and back and NOT to Nampa. Secretly I'm glad. That would have been approximately four 3+ hour drives in the past 16 days. Our car is so filthy I don't even like to touch it if I can help it and I keep telling the kids to keep their hands off everything except the door handles. I tried to go to the car wash last night, only to find it closed. And then I gave up on trying to get the dang car clean. After trip number 2, I got 2 new tires put on the van and boy have I been grateful for the extra traction that has provided in all this snowy weather.
We have 2 weddings this month, and then had a surprise eye surgery pop up which also included a preemptive appointment to make sure surgery was needed. Fortunately/unfortunately, it was. And so it happened last Thursday. And we made it back on Thursday afternoon. And the snow started on Friday night. What a blessing that it held off for one more day so we could make it home safely and focus on Mirren's recovery.
Bronwyn is out of school now until the 2nd of January and Aftyn gets out of school for Christmas break this Friday and then goes back on the 8th of January.
I'd write more but I think the title of this post tells you why that's not happening right now. I'll try to get some pictures posted soon.
We have 2 weddings this month, and then had a surprise eye surgery pop up which also included a preemptive appointment to make sure surgery was needed. Fortunately/unfortunately, it was. And so it happened last Thursday. And we made it back on Thursday afternoon. And the snow started on Friday night. What a blessing that it held off for one more day so we could make it home safely and focus on Mirren's recovery.
Bronwyn is out of school now until the 2nd of January and Aftyn gets out of school for Christmas break this Friday and then goes back on the 8th of January.
I'd write more but I think the title of this post tells you why that's not happening right now. I'll try to get some pictures posted soon.
Thursday, November 16, 2017
Halloween 2018
Everybody chose a couple things on the house to decorate and had a lot of fun
doing it.
to complete his look.
I ended up making was Aftyn's out of a pair of women's top and bottom pajama set from
the Deseret Industries. The kids had so much fun and got lots of candy, so in all
a very memorable Halloween.
Wednesday, November 15, 2017
Nothing New
Dear Blog Readers,
I have been waiting, trying to figure out how to upload all the fun pictures I have to share because our new home computer does not have a card reader . :( My solution is coming in the mail and THEN dear readers, there will be lots and lots and lots of blog posts and pictures and other lovely details of our lives here. Here's just a preview of what I have to write about: Lochlan turned 2! Halloween! Bronwyn going to charter school! and loads of other exciting posts. Stay tuned!
I have been waiting, trying to figure out how to upload all the fun pictures I have to share because our new home computer does not have a card reader . :( My solution is coming in the mail and THEN dear readers, there will be lots and lots and lots of blog posts and pictures and other lovely details of our lives here. Here's just a preview of what I have to write about: Lochlan turned 2! Halloween! Bronwyn going to charter school! and loads of other exciting posts. Stay tuned!
Tuesday, October 3, 2017
Our Concrete Job
I told Reed he should do this on the side. He's good!
Wednesday, September 20, 2017
Aftyn's Double Strabismus Surgery
It's been a long day but I figured I should write this down for posterity and for Aftyn to remember in about 18 years when she has hopefully forgotten this day.
Yesterday after school, all the kids and I went and picked Reed up at his work's office in Pocatello and off we drove to Ogden. We settled into our motel, watched a quick episode of Arthur and then off to sleep for all of us.
The alarm went off at 7. I quickly did my workout and by the time I was done, all the kids were milling around me. Since I knew we had to be at the surgery center at 9:30, I hurried all the kids except Aftyn off to breakfast with me. Aftyn couldn't eat because of her surgery so she and Reed watched Leave it to Beaver. After about 20-ish minutes and full of yummy food, we went back upstairs to get everyone dressed and gave Reed time to go and have his own quiet breakfast by himself. By the time he came back, I had kids dressed and hair done. Another 20-ish minutes and we were all packed up and out to the car with everything we had brought in the night before. Reed got confused and ended up taking us to the wrong place but got us where we needed to be in the end.
15 minutes after checking in, in a fairly small waiting room where there wasn't enough room for all of our family to sit together, Aftyn's name was called and she and I headed back to get her ready for her surgery. Good thing Reed and I had gone through this whole thing before with Mirren, we knew what to expect so we had already worked out who was doing what since we always needed one of us with the other kids and one of us with Aftyn. We got her dressed in her gown, put some large adult socks on her smaller child-sized feet and waited. We waited a while but the nurse came and tried to put an iv in Aftyn while we waited. That was interesting. We played I Spy. That was pretty fun. We told funny knock knock jokes. Those made us laugh. Through it all, poor Aftyn kept telling me with a smile on her face how nervous she was. How her stomach had butterflies. Then came our doctor. After a quick chat, then came our anesthesiologist who was tall and friendly. He was trying to make the situation as light and non-scary as possible, which I appreciated. Then off they went back behind those double doors that I couldn't go behind, so I headed back out to the waiting room to hand off the baton to Reed who would be waiting for her through surgery and would go back with her while she woke up enough to come out and hop in the car with the rest of us.
I took the kids to the local Smith's where we purchased some treats to hopefully entice Aftyn that she wanted to eat and some juice that might do the same after her surgery. We went and got some fast food for everyone to eat so that when Aftyn was done, we could just make the couple hour trip home as quickly as possible. When we got back to the surgery center, Aftyn was waking up but not enough for Reed to go back yet so I took the kids back out to the car and fed them lunch. Tried to kill some time and keep them contained and calm. Aftyn was taking longer than Mirren had because she felt much more nauseous than Mirren had. She would be fine, but then stand up and suddenly feel like throwing up. She and Reed were back in the recovery room for about 40 minutes, I would say. It was long waiting out in the parking lot, texting every 5 or so minutes to get an update. Finally, I saw Reed standing at the front doors! With Aftyn!!
We quickly picked them up and I could tell Aftyn did not feel good. It took her about an hour and a half to feel good enough to eat anything. She didn't want to eat or drink or open her eyes or anything until an hour and a half had passed. Once that time passed, we had a good hour where everything was happy and great and good. Right about that time, we were dropping Reed back off at his truck in Pocatello and Aftyn started crying that her stomach was REALLY hurting and she just wanted to be home. Ugh. So sad to have your child crying and feeling helpless as to how to help them.
We sped home and dealt with poor Aftyn not feeling good for the first part of that 45 minute drive but by the end she was back to feeling good, just really needing to stretch out and lay down horizontally. We got home and she did just that. Being home has helped her immensely!
Fast forward a couple of hours to when I had to do her second dose of antibiotic cream in her eyes. Oh my heck. She cried and was in so much pain. It just hurts my heart so much to watch her lay sobbing on the couch and saying how much it was stinging. :( But I kept reassuring her that it wouldn't always be so painful, that this pain was just temporary and it would get better.
And now, she's peacefully sleeping on the couch, her choice for the night. Pretty positive any ideas I had of her going back to school tomorrow are in the past and I just want to focus on her getting back to feeling 100% well again. Her eyes are blurry sometimes, they water sometimes, they hurt sometimes, they are sensitive and the light hurts them sometimes. But all of these things will go away and her eyes will benefit from this surgery and that is the thing we have to focus on even when the pain is bad or something seems so bad in that moment. It is just temporary and we can get through anything moment by moment until it gets better. Here's to tomorrow and hope.
Yesterday after school, all the kids and I went and picked Reed up at his work's office in Pocatello and off we drove to Ogden. We settled into our motel, watched a quick episode of Arthur and then off to sleep for all of us.
The alarm went off at 7. I quickly did my workout and by the time I was done, all the kids were milling around me. Since I knew we had to be at the surgery center at 9:30, I hurried all the kids except Aftyn off to breakfast with me. Aftyn couldn't eat because of her surgery so she and Reed watched Leave it to Beaver. After about 20-ish minutes and full of yummy food, we went back upstairs to get everyone dressed and gave Reed time to go and have his own quiet breakfast by himself. By the time he came back, I had kids dressed and hair done. Another 20-ish minutes and we were all packed up and out to the car with everything we had brought in the night before. Reed got confused and ended up taking us to the wrong place but got us where we needed to be in the end.
15 minutes after checking in, in a fairly small waiting room where there wasn't enough room for all of our family to sit together, Aftyn's name was called and she and I headed back to get her ready for her surgery. Good thing Reed and I had gone through this whole thing before with Mirren, we knew what to expect so we had already worked out who was doing what since we always needed one of us with the other kids and one of us with Aftyn. We got her dressed in her gown, put some large adult socks on her smaller child-sized feet and waited. We waited a while but the nurse came and tried to put an iv in Aftyn while we waited. That was interesting. We played I Spy. That was pretty fun. We told funny knock knock jokes. Those made us laugh. Through it all, poor Aftyn kept telling me with a smile on her face how nervous she was. How her stomach had butterflies. Then came our doctor. After a quick chat, then came our anesthesiologist who was tall and friendly. He was trying to make the situation as light and non-scary as possible, which I appreciated. Then off they went back behind those double doors that I couldn't go behind, so I headed back out to the waiting room to hand off the baton to Reed who would be waiting for her through surgery and would go back with her while she woke up enough to come out and hop in the car with the rest of us.
I took the kids to the local Smith's where we purchased some treats to hopefully entice Aftyn that she wanted to eat and some juice that might do the same after her surgery. We went and got some fast food for everyone to eat so that when Aftyn was done, we could just make the couple hour trip home as quickly as possible. When we got back to the surgery center, Aftyn was waking up but not enough for Reed to go back yet so I took the kids back out to the car and fed them lunch. Tried to kill some time and keep them contained and calm. Aftyn was taking longer than Mirren had because she felt much more nauseous than Mirren had. She would be fine, but then stand up and suddenly feel like throwing up. She and Reed were back in the recovery room for about 40 minutes, I would say. It was long waiting out in the parking lot, texting every 5 or so minutes to get an update. Finally, I saw Reed standing at the front doors! With Aftyn!!
We quickly picked them up and I could tell Aftyn did not feel good. It took her about an hour and a half to feel good enough to eat anything. She didn't want to eat or drink or open her eyes or anything until an hour and a half had passed. Once that time passed, we had a good hour where everything was happy and great and good. Right about that time, we were dropping Reed back off at his truck in Pocatello and Aftyn started crying that her stomach was REALLY hurting and she just wanted to be home. Ugh. So sad to have your child crying and feeling helpless as to how to help them.
We sped home and dealt with poor Aftyn not feeling good for the first part of that 45 minute drive but by the end she was back to feeling good, just really needing to stretch out and lay down horizontally. We got home and she did just that. Being home has helped her immensely!
Fast forward a couple of hours to when I had to do her second dose of antibiotic cream in her eyes. Oh my heck. She cried and was in so much pain. It just hurts my heart so much to watch her lay sobbing on the couch and saying how much it was stinging. :( But I kept reassuring her that it wouldn't always be so painful, that this pain was just temporary and it would get better.
And now, she's peacefully sleeping on the couch, her choice for the night. Pretty positive any ideas I had of her going back to school tomorrow are in the past and I just want to focus on her getting back to feeling 100% well again. Her eyes are blurry sometimes, they water sometimes, they hurt sometimes, they are sensitive and the light hurts them sometimes. But all of these things will go away and her eyes will benefit from this surgery and that is the thing we have to focus on even when the pain is bad or something seems so bad in that moment. It is just temporary and we can get through anything moment by moment until it gets better. Here's to tomorrow and hope.
Friday, August 25, 2017
Friday Fun Day - AKA I Did Another Project
So I got this super ugly dresser that had all the right curves..... It's upside down in this picture and you can only see 2 of the drawers because I had already started painting the other 3 drawers......
Sunday, August 20, 2017
The month of July
We had found out on around June 22nd that our house purchase wouldn't be happening until the 14th of July. This was a hard pill to swallow as we had planned out everything to a 'T' for the previous 3 weeks but hadn't seen another 3 weeks on top of that. It really took the wind out of my sails for 2-3 days. And then I made another plan. I split up the kids between a bedroom in my parents house and my parents tent trailer out by their shop. I slept out in the tent trailer next to Lochlan every night and had various bed mates, but mostly Mirren and Aftyn joined me in the other beds available in the tent trailer. Reed and Bronwy, who made frequent nightly bathroom trips and still does, slept inside on the guest bunkbed. We were grateful for the beds and accomodations we had and I tried to look on it as an adventure. Over the next 3 weeks, my sisters kids next door and my girls spent lots of time making lots of trouble outside at Grandpa's house. Glasses were lost, tree branches were used as weapons, and canal covers were even disassembled and luckily their parts were found so they could be put back together. It was quite an eventful few weeks. We had our weekly trip to the laundromat to make it even more fun. Or not. It was pretty obvious each week as I crammed all our clean clothes back into the hamper that had been full of dirty clothes that I was just surviving. I laughed as I watched people meticulously fold their clothes and mine were just being sorted and divvied back up to the right person back at home. We had more important things to think of than wrinkled clothes.
With my bathroom projects, I painted 7 bathroom walls, 2 sets of bathroom cupboards, and all the trimwork, replaced 1 light fixture, helped mount a new medicine cabinet/mirror, put up 2 sets of towel hooks, created artwork for the walls, and replaced 2 electrical outlets and 1 light switch so that they would be bright white instead of nasty yellow. I wish I had taken pictures because those bathrooms look AMAZING!! I'm so glad I could use all my extra energy to make those bathrooms more beautiful for my parents.
There were lots of fun things we planned to help the time go more quickly, like the 2 times we went to the movies as a family and watched Beauty and the Beast and Despicable Me 3. I can't remember the last time I took all the kids to a movie but on the whole it was fun. Mirren got a little scared in both movies and Lochlan only cared about the popcorn and once that ran out, he was basically done. Bringing a blanket and binkie for him to cuddle with helped a lot in one of the movies, so there's a good idea for later. I also took Aftyn who earned a free ticket to Roaring Springs and Bronwyn who we gave a ticket to for her main birthday present to Roaring Springs on July 3rd. It was a madhouse but it was fun! We took my niece Mia with us since she too had a ticket and she was the only one in her family who had one and it needed to be used before it expired. She brought a friend and we had all the making of a fun day! We split up at Roaring Springs and the girls and I had a blast, except for that time I almost drowned Bronwyn in the Lazy River by putting my weight on the side of her tube. :( That was scary!! But we learned and that didn't happen again. We also ran into our friends from our ward, Brayli and Broxon and their mom. That was a fun surprise! Best part was that no one got a sunburn because we were very thorough in our sunscreening except for on my back where Aftyn applied it for me and missed a couple of spots. But none of the kids got sunburns so I was totally okay with that. One day we also went to the church orchard and got our favorite Ranier cherries. We ate those for a few days and then I cut up the rest and chucked them in the freezer, to be moved with us so I could use them in later in my favorite cherry recipe: fruit smoothies! We went to lots of garage sales and got clothes for the kids and furniture for our deck at the house we would eventually be moving into.
Finally the week came that we were going to get our house! We had our signing day all set but unfortunately our realtor and her office were, frankly, having communication issues and when signing day came around I was freaking out. I called our realtor, her assistant, our realtor again, her assistant again and finally got ahold of her assistant to finally get some of my concerns talked about. We ended up being about 20-30 minutes late to our signing because I was not signing papers for a house we weren't even sure everything had been taken care of like it needed to be by the sellers. I was literally crying as we walked into Title One. And I vowed never to use my realtor in Idaho Falls again, sadly. So don't ask for a referral, I haven't got one. Now the realtor I sold my house with in Nampa, I would use over and over again. Loved him. I would totally refer him. Anyhow, the lady who helped us at Title One helped calm me tremendously as she explained everything exactly the way I needed to hear it, so we signed. And then on the way home, found out that the sellers were not signing until the next day. So even though we had planned on driving up that day with all our stuff packed into our moving van and our family's van, we had nowhere to stay that night. Our realtor's assistant even tried to ask the buyers if we could just stay in the house that night, which admittedly I would never allow for a house I was selling, but we were desperate. And not surprisingly, they said no. And we figured this all out about 30 minutes before we were going to be arriving in Idaho Falls with all our stuff. So luckily my awesome sister Wendy let us stay at her house, just like I knew she would. I was an emotional basket case. Really. What a day it had been. The best part of the day was that my nephew had just received his mission call so we were just in time to be there for when he opened it up. That was a great surprise!
The next day was just a waiting game since we didn't know when the sellers were signing, and time was just ticking away. I was feeling so impatient, just wanting a dang house to live in!! To kill time, I took the kids to go see a movie again, since that's a great way to just think about nothing for about an hour and a half. We went and saw Despicable Me 3 again. What can I say, it was funny! Reed stayed at my sisters house and worked. Literally, as soon as the movie ended, I got a text saying that my realtor's assistant had our keys in her office and I could come pick them up. So I did! I was so excited!! Until the assistant told me that I couldn't actually go to the house until they received payment from the bank and the house was officially ours. *Sigh* Are you seeing a pattern here? I swear, it was just one hurdle to jump after another. But finally, after Reed took the kids to go get us lunch, I got the phone call that we could go move into the house. Hallelujah!!! It was Friday, the 14th of July, exactly 3 weeks from when we were supposed to move into the house originally. That night my sister Wendy, her husband Jeff, and her kids Jake and Dillon all showed up at our house on a warm night to sweat our way through unloading our moving truck. Never have I been more grateful to have a house to move our things into. Really. We met our next door neighbors that night who happen to have 2 little girls Bronwyn and Aftyn's ages, and they are also members of the LDS church which is neat. The next 2 weeks were a blur of unpacking boxes, setting up bedrooms, getting the internet (which is another funny story) and slowly getting settled in to our new house.
With my bathroom projects, I painted 7 bathroom walls, 2 sets of bathroom cupboards, and all the trimwork, replaced 1 light fixture, helped mount a new medicine cabinet/mirror, put up 2 sets of towel hooks, created artwork for the walls, and replaced 2 electrical outlets and 1 light switch so that they would be bright white instead of nasty yellow. I wish I had taken pictures because those bathrooms look AMAZING!! I'm so glad I could use all my extra energy to make those bathrooms more beautiful for my parents.
There were lots of fun things we planned to help the time go more quickly, like the 2 times we went to the movies as a family and watched Beauty and the Beast and Despicable Me 3. I can't remember the last time I took all the kids to a movie but on the whole it was fun. Mirren got a little scared in both movies and Lochlan only cared about the popcorn and once that ran out, he was basically done. Bringing a blanket and binkie for him to cuddle with helped a lot in one of the movies, so there's a good idea for later. I also took Aftyn who earned a free ticket to Roaring Springs and Bronwyn who we gave a ticket to for her main birthday present to Roaring Springs on July 3rd. It was a madhouse but it was fun! We took my niece Mia with us since she too had a ticket and she was the only one in her family who had one and it needed to be used before it expired. She brought a friend and we had all the making of a fun day! We split up at Roaring Springs and the girls and I had a blast, except for that time I almost drowned Bronwyn in the Lazy River by putting my weight on the side of her tube. :( That was scary!! But we learned and that didn't happen again. We also ran into our friends from our ward, Brayli and Broxon and their mom. That was a fun surprise! Best part was that no one got a sunburn because we were very thorough in our sunscreening except for on my back where Aftyn applied it for me and missed a couple of spots. But none of the kids got sunburns so I was totally okay with that. One day we also went to the church orchard and got our favorite Ranier cherries. We ate those for a few days and then I cut up the rest and chucked them in the freezer, to be moved with us so I could use them in later in my favorite cherry recipe: fruit smoothies! We went to lots of garage sales and got clothes for the kids and furniture for our deck at the house we would eventually be moving into.
Finally the week came that we were going to get our house! We had our signing day all set but unfortunately our realtor and her office were, frankly, having communication issues and when signing day came around I was freaking out. I called our realtor, her assistant, our realtor again, her assistant again and finally got ahold of her assistant to finally get some of my concerns talked about. We ended up being about 20-30 minutes late to our signing because I was not signing papers for a house we weren't even sure everything had been taken care of like it needed to be by the sellers. I was literally crying as we walked into Title One. And I vowed never to use my realtor in Idaho Falls again, sadly. So don't ask for a referral, I haven't got one. Now the realtor I sold my house with in Nampa, I would use over and over again. Loved him. I would totally refer him. Anyhow, the lady who helped us at Title One helped calm me tremendously as she explained everything exactly the way I needed to hear it, so we signed. And then on the way home, found out that the sellers were not signing until the next day. So even though we had planned on driving up that day with all our stuff packed into our moving van and our family's van, we had nowhere to stay that night. Our realtor's assistant even tried to ask the buyers if we could just stay in the house that night, which admittedly I would never allow for a house I was selling, but we were desperate. And not surprisingly, they said no. And we figured this all out about 30 minutes before we were going to be arriving in Idaho Falls with all our stuff. So luckily my awesome sister Wendy let us stay at her house, just like I knew she would. I was an emotional basket case. Really. What a day it had been. The best part of the day was that my nephew had just received his mission call so we were just in time to be there for when he opened it up. That was a great surprise!
The next day was just a waiting game since we didn't know when the sellers were signing, and time was just ticking away. I was feeling so impatient, just wanting a dang house to live in!! To kill time, I took the kids to go see a movie again, since that's a great way to just think about nothing for about an hour and a half. We went and saw Despicable Me 3 again. What can I say, it was funny! Reed stayed at my sisters house and worked. Literally, as soon as the movie ended, I got a text saying that my realtor's assistant had our keys in her office and I could come pick them up. So I did! I was so excited!! Until the assistant told me that I couldn't actually go to the house until they received payment from the bank and the house was officially ours. *Sigh* Are you seeing a pattern here? I swear, it was just one hurdle to jump after another. But finally, after Reed took the kids to go get us lunch, I got the phone call that we could go move into the house. Hallelujah!!! It was Friday, the 14th of July, exactly 3 weeks from when we were supposed to move into the house originally. That night my sister Wendy, her husband Jeff, and her kids Jake and Dillon all showed up at our house on a warm night to sweat our way through unloading our moving truck. Never have I been more grateful to have a house to move our things into. Really. We met our next door neighbors that night who happen to have 2 little girls Bronwyn and Aftyn's ages, and they are also members of the LDS church which is neat. The next 2 weeks were a blur of unpacking boxes, setting up bedrooms, getting the internet (which is another funny story) and slowly getting settled in to our new house.
Tuesday, August 8, 2017
A letter to me
Dear Alysa,
Here you sit, at the beginning of another busy day. Running the kids to swimming lessons, making breakfasts, lunches, washing and drying laundry, the list for your day when it's all written out seems quite daunting.
And yet, every day you tackle a list that looks different but has just as many things on it and you accomplish it. You are amazing! You are tireless and also tired. You push forward even when you don't want to. You hug, and kiss and snuggle. You make the time to tell your kids that you love them because you know it's important for you and for them. You do your girls hair so cute because it helps you feel proud of the sweet little girls that they are. It helps to remind you of their inner beauty and that they are daughters of God with beautiful hearts full of love for each other, even if they don't always act like they do.
You tirelessly chase your toddler around, making sure he is safe and not getting himself hurt or harming other's things. I know it is exhausting! I also know it has its payoffs, with his sweet smiles and his little voice saying "Mama!". You love the feel of his little body in the safety of your arms as he comes for cuddles and hugs.
Being a mom may not be or look like what you thought it would be as a little girl when you dreamed of the day you would be a mommy. It's a lot harder. But it's also a lot more rewarding. Rewarding like watching your 8 year old who loves to read, telling you how much she loves the book you just got her and how she's just read it for the 2nd time. Rewarding like your 6 year old who loves the school clothes you just bought her for her first year of school. How she looks to you for guidance and help if she can't figure it out herself, which is a lot of the time. Rewarding in seeing your almost 4 year old finally being able to do something for herself that she's struggled with for years now.
You are a great mom. You are more than you think you are, and never as unimportant as you think you might be to them. You are your childrens everything. Never discount your importance. You are their role model. They want to be like you!! You can see that in the trust they place in you, how they come to you for help before anyone else. They know that you are always there and will always be there. You are truly amazing. Don't get bogged down in the little stuff. Keep the little stuff little.
Love,
me
Here you sit, at the beginning of another busy day. Running the kids to swimming lessons, making breakfasts, lunches, washing and drying laundry, the list for your day when it's all written out seems quite daunting.
And yet, every day you tackle a list that looks different but has just as many things on it and you accomplish it. You are amazing! You are tireless and also tired. You push forward even when you don't want to. You hug, and kiss and snuggle. You make the time to tell your kids that you love them because you know it's important for you and for them. You do your girls hair so cute because it helps you feel proud of the sweet little girls that they are. It helps to remind you of their inner beauty and that they are daughters of God with beautiful hearts full of love for each other, even if they don't always act like they do.
You tirelessly chase your toddler around, making sure he is safe and not getting himself hurt or harming other's things. I know it is exhausting! I also know it has its payoffs, with his sweet smiles and his little voice saying "Mama!". You love the feel of his little body in the safety of your arms as he comes for cuddles and hugs.
Being a mom may not be or look like what you thought it would be as a little girl when you dreamed of the day you would be a mommy. It's a lot harder. But it's also a lot more rewarding. Rewarding like watching your 8 year old who loves to read, telling you how much she loves the book you just got her and how she's just read it for the 2nd time. Rewarding like your 6 year old who loves the school clothes you just bought her for her first year of school. How she looks to you for guidance and help if she can't figure it out herself, which is a lot of the time. Rewarding in seeing your almost 4 year old finally being able to do something for herself that she's struggled with for years now.
You are a great mom. You are more than you think you are, and never as unimportant as you think you might be to them. You are your childrens everything. Never discount your importance. You are their role model. They want to be like you!! You can see that in the trust they place in you, how they come to you for help before anyone else. They know that you are always there and will always be there. You are truly amazing. Don't get bogged down in the little stuff. Keep the little stuff little.
Love,
me
Tuesday, August 1, 2017
The month of June
3 days after moving out of our house, Aftyn was baptized by Reed and became a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It was a long awaited day and she was so excited. We had lots of family that were able to come and we were grateful for that. There was lots of family that couldn't come and we sure missed them. Aftyn had had baptism pictures taken by my sister Alyson and I'd created a book from them for people to write their testimonies in for Aftyn. She absolutely loves that book and it is really special to her.
At that point, we were staying with my parents in their tent trailer and we stayed there for about 5 days. Just for a fun on the 4th we went and stayed 10 days at Grandma and Grandpa Bishop's house and that was an adventure as well. Grandpa rented a backhoe to do some fun projects around their house, including putting up a power pole using ropes and a backhoe and the kids loved watching Grandpa maneuver that big machine around their property. Grandma didn't find it quite as fun and was pretty stressed about a lot of Grandpa's endeavors. Lochlan loved to watch Grandpa move the bucket all around and drive all over. After our 10 days there that included Aunt Cindy and cousin Cooper who was in town working to save money for his mission, we moved back to my parents house for just a few nights and then we accompanied Reed to a show for his work up in Sun Valley. We had a house rented and we stayed there for 2 nights I think. We had a lot of fun and made some fun memories, specifically when we went up to Redfish Lake and played in the water and had lunch. The kids had a blast and we just enjoyed a quick and fun day trip playing in the water and sand. Sometime during this month, we also needed to go to Idaho Falls for an eye appointment for Mirren and Aftyn so while we were at it, the kids and I got to go and see our house for the first time. We loved it and were SO excited that it was going to be ours!
We went back to my parents house after our Sun Valley getaway, planning on only being there for about 3 or 4 more nights and then moving into our new house. Thanks to an appraiser who has problems and wouldn't fix his original appraisal in spite of being giving a whole dang lot of comps and being given a list that showed all the things he left off of his appraisal, we were granted another 3 week wait before we could move into our house. We were heartbroken to say the least. But since we really had no other choice, my parents and sister who lives with them and Reed and the kids and I just picked ourselves up and prepared for another 3 weeks together. My parents and sister are saints. Oh and it helped that I had started re-doing my parents bathrooms at their house for them with my mothers blessing so that gave me something to keep my mind and body busy while we were just waiting for a house of our own.
At that point, we were staying with my parents in their tent trailer and we stayed there for about 5 days. Just for a fun on the 4th we went and stayed 10 days at Grandma and Grandpa Bishop's house and that was an adventure as well. Grandpa rented a backhoe to do some fun projects around their house, including putting up a power pole using ropes and a backhoe and the kids loved watching Grandpa maneuver that big machine around their property. Grandma didn't find it quite as fun and was pretty stressed about a lot of Grandpa's endeavors. Lochlan loved to watch Grandpa move the bucket all around and drive all over. After our 10 days there that included Aunt Cindy and cousin Cooper who was in town working to save money for his mission, we moved back to my parents house for just a few nights and then we accompanied Reed to a show for his work up in Sun Valley. We had a house rented and we stayed there for 2 nights I think. We had a lot of fun and made some fun memories, specifically when we went up to Redfish Lake and played in the water and had lunch. The kids had a blast and we just enjoyed a quick and fun day trip playing in the water and sand. Sometime during this month, we also needed to go to Idaho Falls for an eye appointment for Mirren and Aftyn so while we were at it, the kids and I got to go and see our house for the first time. We loved it and were SO excited that it was going to be ours!
We went back to my parents house after our Sun Valley getaway, planning on only being there for about 3 or 4 more nights and then moving into our new house. Thanks to an appraiser who has problems and wouldn't fix his original appraisal in spite of being giving a whole dang lot of comps and being given a list that showed all the things he left off of his appraisal, we were granted another 3 week wait before we could move into our house. We were heartbroken to say the least. But since we really had no other choice, my parents and sister who lives with them and Reed and the kids and I just picked ourselves up and prepared for another 3 weeks together. My parents and sister are saints. Oh and it helped that I had started re-doing my parents bathrooms at their house for them with my mothers blessing so that gave me something to keep my mind and body busy while we were just waiting for a house of our own.
The Month of May
The month of May was a blur in our lives. We had just spent all of April preparing our house to put on the market to sell. We had worked so hard in hopes that we could make a good profit and then continue on with our plans to move to Idaho Falls.
We put our house on the market at 5 pm on May 1st and had someone call that very night and show it to a client. We were very apprehensive and excited that this day we had long waited for was finally here! The real estate agent and client showed up before we had left, so out we ran so that they could come in and admire our home, or so we hoped.
The next day around 1 pm our real estate agent called to ask if I had seen his email, which included an offer from the agent the night before. An offer that was better than our asking price. I was dumbfounded and kind of shocked that the whole experience could already be over! Dare I say it, I might have even been a tad disappointed. Ha ha ha!! We accepted that offer and decided instead to be grateful we didn't have to keep our house in tip top condition all the time and instead could focus on finding our future home.
We spent the next 2 weekends driving to Idaho Falls and viewing way too many homes, and none of them were quite right. We looked at homes for about 7 hours that first Saturday! We offered on one house, only to have the owner unwilling to come down $3,000 even though we had come up $5,000. I'm so glad we walked away from that one. My sister Wendy and her family were amazing and helped us so much by watching our kids for us so we were free to go and look at houses without the kiddos in tow. The kids would have died of boredom.
After the 2nd weekend of no luck looking for a new house, with our impending closing date only 2 weeks away, we decided to just figure out a plan B and focus on moving out and then finding our home. Over that 2 week period we had my sister Wendy who lives in Idaho Falls looking at houses for us and we tried again to offer on one house but this time without having seen it. Yeah, that one didn't end up working out either. We were working on so many things at once, getting everything boxed up, helping Aftyn finish up her school year which ended on June 2nd and getting prepared for her baptism on the 3rd, and making plans of where and who we would be living with while we were without a home. It was a crazy month. Oh and we had 3 birthdays and mothers day all thrown in there as well. Yep, it was crazy busy.
In our last week at our house, Reed managed to go to Idaho Falls for work and saw a couple houses. He found one that he absolutely loved and had my sister Wendy go and see that one too. Based off of both of their feedback, we decided to offer on this house because it sounded perfect! And I hadn't even seen it! Haha!!! On the same day we closed on our house, we walked out of Title One in Nampa and I said to Reed, "Well, we are officially homeless. I wish we could hear back on that offer soon so I could know if we have a future home somewhere." Fateful words. 20-ish minutes later, we had a call from our other realtor that our offer had been accepted and we had a house! Woohoo!!
We drove back home, with no home to live in and hope for the day we could move into our new house in Idaho Falls.
We put our house on the market at 5 pm on May 1st and had someone call that very night and show it to a client. We were very apprehensive and excited that this day we had long waited for was finally here! The real estate agent and client showed up before we had left, so out we ran so that they could come in and admire our home, or so we hoped.
The next day around 1 pm our real estate agent called to ask if I had seen his email, which included an offer from the agent the night before. An offer that was better than our asking price. I was dumbfounded and kind of shocked that the whole experience could already be over! Dare I say it, I might have even been a tad disappointed. Ha ha ha!! We accepted that offer and decided instead to be grateful we didn't have to keep our house in tip top condition all the time and instead could focus on finding our future home.
We spent the next 2 weekends driving to Idaho Falls and viewing way too many homes, and none of them were quite right. We looked at homes for about 7 hours that first Saturday! We offered on one house, only to have the owner unwilling to come down $3,000 even though we had come up $5,000. I'm so glad we walked away from that one. My sister Wendy and her family were amazing and helped us so much by watching our kids for us so we were free to go and look at houses without the kiddos in tow. The kids would have died of boredom.
After the 2nd weekend of no luck looking for a new house, with our impending closing date only 2 weeks away, we decided to just figure out a plan B and focus on moving out and then finding our home. Over that 2 week period we had my sister Wendy who lives in Idaho Falls looking at houses for us and we tried again to offer on one house but this time without having seen it. Yeah, that one didn't end up working out either. We were working on so many things at once, getting everything boxed up, helping Aftyn finish up her school year which ended on June 2nd and getting prepared for her baptism on the 3rd, and making plans of where and who we would be living with while we were without a home. It was a crazy month. Oh and we had 3 birthdays and mothers day all thrown in there as well. Yep, it was crazy busy.
In our last week at our house, Reed managed to go to Idaho Falls for work and saw a couple houses. He found one that he absolutely loved and had my sister Wendy go and see that one too. Based off of both of their feedback, we decided to offer on this house because it sounded perfect! And I hadn't even seen it! Haha!!! On the same day we closed on our house, we walked out of Title One in Nampa and I said to Reed, "Well, we are officially homeless. I wish we could hear back on that offer soon so I could know if we have a future home somewhere." Fateful words. 20-ish minutes later, we had a call from our other realtor that our offer had been accepted and we had a house! Woohoo!!
We drove back home, with no home to live in and hope for the day we could move into our new house in Idaho Falls.
Tuesday, July 4, 2017
Had to Document this somewhere
Today, Lochlan learned how to snap his fingers. No one showed him, he just started doing it while he and I were sitting on the couch. I need to get video of it because have you ever heard a one year old's little fingers snap? It's the quietest most delicate little snap I have ever heard. It's hilarious!!
Thursday, May 18, 2017
Catch Up Post
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My life is a myriad of struggles and frustrations
and trying to appear as if I've still got everything under control
and that I am calm, cool and collected.
But let's be real.
I'm a mess!!
I had my birthday a few weeks ago.
We spent the day looking at 8 houses with our new realtor while Wendy and her awesome family watched our kids for 11+ hours that day.
We still haven't officially celebrated it with my kids and husband.
I had a great celebration with my sister Wendy and her family.
It's been super weird to not even think about it really
because we've been so busy getting all the stuff done for this house.
Bronwyn's birthday/Mother's Day was also weird.
Mostly because we celebrated 2 big days on the same day.
It. Was. So. Weird!!
Our house is in the process of selling and closes in less than 2 weeks.
That's SOO weird too!
And unfortunately the house we had chosen to put an offer on,
well, turns out that's not supposed to be our house.
So 2 weeks from now we will officially be homeless with 4 children and a full time job.
It's okay.
Heavenly Father has a plan and He's got this. I have faith.
My life is a myriad of struggles and frustrations
and trying to appear as if I've still got everything under control
and that I am calm, cool and collected.
But let's be real.
I'm a mess!!
I had my birthday a few weeks ago.
We spent the day looking at 8 houses with our new realtor while Wendy and her awesome family watched our kids for 11+ hours that day.
We still haven't officially celebrated it with my kids and husband.
I had a great celebration with my sister Wendy and her family.
It's been super weird to not even think about it really
because we've been so busy getting all the stuff done for this house.
Bronwyn's birthday/Mother's Day was also weird.
Mostly because we celebrated 2 big days on the same day.
It. Was. So. Weird!!
Our house is in the process of selling and closes in less than 2 weeks.
That's SOO weird too!
And unfortunately the house we had chosen to put an offer on,
well, turns out that's not supposed to be our house.
So 2 weeks from now we will officially be homeless with 4 children and a full time job.
It's okay.
Heavenly Father has a plan and He's got this. I have faith.
Tuesday, April 11, 2017
Bronwyn's Lost Her 2nd Tooth
Wow!!!! She just kept laughing after she did it.
And kept saying, "I can't believe I pulled out my tooth!".
We sure love her and are proud of the girl she's growing into.
DaVinci Night Art Project for Aftyn
This is her set up project at school that night.
Aftyn was really proud of herself and so was I.
Aftyn chose a parrot (on her own) to paint and
stuck with that idea for a good month, never changing her mind.
I have to say, I admire her fortitude.
Aftyn knew what she wanted to do and never wavered.
The Reality of My Window Project
What my house really looked like the weekend
I worked on my 7 windows and Reed was out of town.
Total chaos.
Saturday, April 1, 2017
Framed
We're getting ready to sell our house.
I am doing our last big project of framing the windows.
There are 7 windows in the house.
It cost about $25 per window.
I'm pooped.
Thursday, March 16, 2017
Text Messages to Reed I Don't Want to Forget But Have to Erase
Mar 9th 2016: Your son is crawling backward. A ton.
March 12 2016: My mom is going to the ER. (She had pneumonia. It was scary.)
May 12, 2016: The dentist referred me straight to the oral surgeon. I've got an appointment for
next Tuesday afternoon. (Got my last wisdom tooth removed. It was AWFUL!)
LATER THAT DAY: Fence has been stained! Go me! It looks awesome!! I used the spray gun
and it was so dang easy! :)
June 23, 2016: Reed, call me when you can. I have to talk to you about swimming lessons today.
They were horrible. (Bronwyn FREAKED out and was calling out to me
from the pool "I want my mommy! Momma!!". Talk about not knowing
how to handle the problem or even being faced with it before. This was when
I realized how effective very long stays with your nose in the corner seemed
very beneficial for Bronwyn.)
July 22, 2016: Good morning Reed. Mirren is saying "lalleee-ee hooo", Lochlan is doing a mix
of cry whining from his bed and I'm laying here with one eye open listening to it all.
The kitten was trying to force her way into our bedroom last night because
she wanted to sleep/play with me. Oh happy Friday. Said rather apathetically.
My phone doesn't carry that word so I think I just taught it a new word.
(Clearly Reed was out of town and needed to know the realities of my life that day.)
LATER THAT DAY: Is this thing on? (Clearly he hadn't responded yet. I was needing some
acknowledgement.)
December 17, 2016: Tilly is gone. I'm crying. (We found a new family for our kitten. They had
just come and picked her up. It was so sad.)
January 4, 2017: Guess what! I was just feeling the baby move! Crazy huh? (I was about 10 weeks
along and call me crazy, but the kid was doing what felt like flips in my stomach.
It was the one and only time I really felt him move. It was a blessing for me and Reed.)
February 17, 2017: Mirren knows just what I need. 4 forehead smoochies and a pat, followed
by "you'll be okay mom, you'll be okay." Now that's love. ;)
HIS RESPONSE: That is really sweet. She has a very tender heart.
Me: She is a natural caretaker.
February 4, 2017: I'm brilliant. I fixed the disposal! :)
March 12 2016: My mom is going to the ER. (She had pneumonia. It was scary.)
May 12, 2016: The dentist referred me straight to the oral surgeon. I've got an appointment for
next Tuesday afternoon. (Got my last wisdom tooth removed. It was AWFUL!)
LATER THAT DAY: Fence has been stained! Go me! It looks awesome!! I used the spray gun
and it was so dang easy! :)
June 23, 2016: Reed, call me when you can. I have to talk to you about swimming lessons today.
They were horrible. (Bronwyn FREAKED out and was calling out to me
from the pool "I want my mommy! Momma!!". Talk about not knowing
how to handle the problem or even being faced with it before. This was when
I realized how effective very long stays with your nose in the corner seemed
very beneficial for Bronwyn.)
July 22, 2016: Good morning Reed. Mirren is saying "lalleee-ee hooo", Lochlan is doing a mix
of cry whining from his bed and I'm laying here with one eye open listening to it all.
The kitten was trying to force her way into our bedroom last night because
she wanted to sleep/play with me. Oh happy Friday. Said rather apathetically.
My phone doesn't carry that word so I think I just taught it a new word.
(Clearly Reed was out of town and needed to know the realities of my life that day.)
LATER THAT DAY: Is this thing on? (Clearly he hadn't responded yet. I was needing some
acknowledgement.)
December 17, 2016: Tilly is gone. I'm crying. (We found a new family for our kitten. They had
just come and picked her up. It was so sad.)
January 4, 2017: Guess what! I was just feeling the baby move! Crazy huh? (I was about 10 weeks
along and call me crazy, but the kid was doing what felt like flips in my stomach.
It was the one and only time I really felt him move. It was a blessing for me and Reed.)
February 17, 2017: Mirren knows just what I need. 4 forehead smoochies and a pat, followed
by "you'll be okay mom, you'll be okay." Now that's love. ;)
HIS RESPONSE: That is really sweet. She has a very tender heart.
Me: She is a natural caretaker.
February 4, 2017: I'm brilliant. I fixed the disposal! :)
Monday, March 13, 2017
Lochlan Almost Ruined My SD Card and Other Truths
It's dangerous to do things, normal everyday tasks, in front of Lochlan.
Because he thinks he's a big kid and that he can do them too.
That kid is going to be the death of me!
I don't joke when I say it is my job 24/7 to watch him like a hawk!!
Because when I turn my back to wash dishes, help another kid with their problem,
or any other task that a normal person does in a normal day,
he is off putting dvd cases into my vcr or putting my camera's sd card into the wrong slot
on my computer or putting things in the kitty's water bowl.
And yes, he does have consequences but he is just relentless. And busy!
Oy.
Bronwyn lost her first tooth today and while we were still working on getting it all the way out,
she ate a pretzel stick and got the tooth next to it really wiggly too. She and I have been working our tushies off to help her start reading/learning sight words. She hugs me and thanks me every day when we learn a new word. I love it! I also get terribly nervous as we read our way through the book that contains all the sight words because she is notorious, and so am I, of giving up when she starts to feel confused. But each time instead of pushing her and instead of her just giving up, she thinks about it and sounds it out and comes out with the right word in the end! I am really and truly so proud of her for wanting to do this even though I know it's a challenge for her. I'm proud of me too because despite feeling like she's going to give up or I'm just not feeling it, I do it because I love her and I know this is something she needs my help learning right now. I gave her a haircut last week, and she wanted bangs. Thus, we had to take a picture, below. :) She still thinks the bangs are too long but I've been too lazy to trim them and she just kind of sweeps them to the side anyway.
Mirren finally got her sought after prize of getting to do something in Primary today. She go to do the article of faith! I practiced with her loads of times the first article of faith, and she knew it pretty well! I don't think the experience was everything she thought it would be but at least she finally got to have it. She and Bronwyn are best friends lately and I love it! Just this past week as I was turning on a movie for them, I turned around to the two of them sitting on the couch next to each other with their arms around each others shoulders and big happy grins on their faces. My heart just melted! We also have plenty of moments where they need to play separately because they can't get along but those moments are getting so much less and I'm really grateful for that. Mirren also really loves Lochlan lately too. She has been telling me recently that he's her brother and she loves him. I plunked him in bed with Mirren this morning and she put her arm gently around his shoulder and just gave him a big ol' grin and he just grinned right back at her. They sat there grinning for a good minute. It was so sweet. And then we got up for breakfast and life resumed its normal pace. Ha ha!! She fell asleep sitting all propped up on this pillow. I can't get away from her needing a nap at least 2-3 times a week and if I can convince her to take them its heaven. Otherwise, I opt for early bedtimes.
Aftyn is Aftyn. She is a great big sister, she loves school. She has a reading challenge from her school that she's trying to accomplish, so she has been reading like a mad man every day this week. I had to break out the books I'd been saving for her birthday so she would have some new and interesting books to read. She is reading a whole book a day! She's wiping out my supply!! She's been asking for a haircut for about a month and I finally managed to work it into my schedule. Except I didn't take a picture yet. But it's just a bit longer than chin length with some long cheekbone length layers in the front. Every day when she gets home from school is one of the best parts of the day. Everyone is happy when Aftyn gets home. Her class is working on making leprechaun traps and she asked me if leprechauns were real. In THE most serious tone. It was so funny! I love that she felt that she would get an honest answer from me. I told her that they weren't, that just like Santa Claus, it was just something fun to pretend. She seemed a little conflicted with my answer. Ha ha ha!! This is Aftyn and her "crazy" hat for hat day at school. She loved this hat that I whipped up with some tape, ribbon, elastic and poster board. Doggone lucky I had all that on hand!
Because he thinks he's a big kid and that he can do them too.
That kid is going to be the death of me!
I don't joke when I say it is my job 24/7 to watch him like a hawk!!
Because when I turn my back to wash dishes, help another kid with their problem,
or any other task that a normal person does in a normal day,
he is off putting dvd cases into my vcr or putting my camera's sd card into the wrong slot
on my computer or putting things in the kitty's water bowl.
And yes, he does have consequences but he is just relentless. And busy!
Oy.
Bronwyn lost her first tooth today and while we were still working on getting it all the way out,
she ate a pretzel stick and got the tooth next to it really wiggly too. She and I have been working our tushies off to help her start reading/learning sight words. She hugs me and thanks me every day when we learn a new word. I love it! I also get terribly nervous as we read our way through the book that contains all the sight words because she is notorious, and so am I, of giving up when she starts to feel confused. But each time instead of pushing her and instead of her just giving up, she thinks about it and sounds it out and comes out with the right word in the end! I am really and truly so proud of her for wanting to do this even though I know it's a challenge for her. I'm proud of me too because despite feeling like she's going to give up or I'm just not feeling it, I do it because I love her and I know this is something she needs my help learning right now. I gave her a haircut last week, and she wanted bangs. Thus, we had to take a picture, below. :) She still thinks the bangs are too long but I've been too lazy to trim them and she just kind of sweeps them to the side anyway.
Mirren finally got her sought after prize of getting to do something in Primary today. She go to do the article of faith! I practiced with her loads of times the first article of faith, and she knew it pretty well! I don't think the experience was everything she thought it would be but at least she finally got to have it. She and Bronwyn are best friends lately and I love it! Just this past week as I was turning on a movie for them, I turned around to the two of them sitting on the couch next to each other with their arms around each others shoulders and big happy grins on their faces. My heart just melted! We also have plenty of moments where they need to play separately because they can't get along but those moments are getting so much less and I'm really grateful for that. Mirren also really loves Lochlan lately too. She has been telling me recently that he's her brother and she loves him. I plunked him in bed with Mirren this morning and she put her arm gently around his shoulder and just gave him a big ol' grin and he just grinned right back at her. They sat there grinning for a good minute. It was so sweet. And then we got up for breakfast and life resumed its normal pace. Ha ha!! She fell asleep sitting all propped up on this pillow. I can't get away from her needing a nap at least 2-3 times a week and if I can convince her to take them its heaven. Otherwise, I opt for early bedtimes.
Monday, February 27, 2017
Highlights
Bronwyn's first adult tooth showed up
behind a bottom baby tooth this week.
She's been wiggling it from sun up to sun down
and is SO IMPATIENT to lose that darn tooth!
Lochlan blew kisses for the first time ever.
3 times.
TO MY MOM!
I'm insulted. LOL
Of course, my pride felt a little better
when he planted a real kiss on my cheek earlier today.
And then did it once more just for fun.
Puckered up lips and everything.
That boy just knows how to win the girls over.
Also, today was Lochlan's first day in nursery.
He didn't cry when I left him.
He just seemed so surprised to find a room
full of toys at church that he'd
never known about before. Ha ha ha!!!
When I went to go and check on him after an hour,
he was laying face down on the carpet,
with his knees tucked under him,
just sucking on his binky and observing everyone around him.
I couldn't help but laugh! One of the nursery workers came out
and asked me if it was his nap time.
I laughed and said I guess so.
When I picked him up, he was happily playing
with a walking ball popper toy
that he let me put away when I told him it was time to "go go go!".
Poor Aftyn has the flu.
She came home after school on Friday and had a fever.
And she's been having a horrid time of it since.
No school tomorrow for her!
I subbed as the primary chorister today.
I spent at least 5 minutes giggling
at Mirren who kept raising her hand and saying
"Me!" whenever she felt
there might be an opportunity for her
to get to do something important.
She said her very own prayer tonight over her food.
Even though the prayer had already been said.
She wanted to say her own, without help.
Except I got to prompt her how to end.
It was very sweet.
She is so earnest and sincere and independent.
I love that little girl.
I love my kids.
They equally drive me crazy.
behind a bottom baby tooth this week.
She's been wiggling it from sun up to sun down
and is SO IMPATIENT to lose that darn tooth!
Lochlan blew kisses for the first time ever.
3 times.
TO MY MOM!
I'm insulted. LOL
Of course, my pride felt a little better
when he planted a real kiss on my cheek earlier today.
And then did it once more just for fun.
Puckered up lips and everything.
That boy just knows how to win the girls over.
Also, today was Lochlan's first day in nursery.
He didn't cry when I left him.
He just seemed so surprised to find a room
full of toys at church that he'd
never known about before. Ha ha ha!!!
When I went to go and check on him after an hour,
he was laying face down on the carpet,
with his knees tucked under him,
just sucking on his binky and observing everyone around him.
I couldn't help but laugh! One of the nursery workers came out
and asked me if it was his nap time.
I laughed and said I guess so.
When I picked him up, he was happily playing
with a walking ball popper toy
that he let me put away when I told him it was time to "go go go!".
Poor Aftyn has the flu.
She came home after school on Friday and had a fever.
And she's been having a horrid time of it since.
No school tomorrow for her!
I subbed as the primary chorister today.
I spent at least 5 minutes giggling
at Mirren who kept raising her hand and saying
"Me!" whenever she felt
there might be an opportunity for her
to get to do something important.
She said her very own prayer tonight over her food.
Even though the prayer had already been said.
She wanted to say her own, without help.
Except I got to prompt her how to end.
It was very sweet.
She is so earnest and sincere and independent.
I love that little girl.
I love my kids.
They equally drive me crazy.
Wednesday, February 22, 2017
Buoyed Up
I think I need to put some words to paper, or whatever, and get this said.
The past 3.5 weeks have been sad, confusing,
happy, comforting and lots of other things.
I've learned things, eternal things, that I know
I was meant to learn through this experience.
I know there are many more for me to learn.
But I need to express my gratitude for the love and support I have received.
I look back on the past weeks and in reflection see more love than sadness,
more comforting words and support than despair.
My heart is beginning to rebuild itself and
feels almost ready to go out and face the world again after my quiet retreat.
Another thing I need to share is that
my blanket that I worked so hard over has turned out
to be such a blessing.
I tried to take a picture. I tried!
My favorite part is the heart square in the lower right hand.
It says "In Loving Memory" and we'll fill it in eventually.
It says "In Loving Memory" and we'll fill it in eventually.
It is the memory, the GOOD memory, that I wanted it to be.
I am grateful and blessed.
I am learning to be happy about this moment in our life,
and I'm sure I will keep learning
as I continue to find both the good and the bad of our miscarriage.
Wednesday, February 15, 2017
Reed Has Some Competition
Aftyn wrote me the sweetest Valentines Day message today.
Here's what it says:
"You are as sweet as Roses,
you can danse like the wind,
and I'll love you forever."
(Written, punctuated and spelled how she did it)
Here's what it says:
"You are as sweet as Roses,
you can danse like the wind,
and I'll love you forever."
(Written, punctuated and spelled how she did it)
Saturday, February 11, 2017
Pictures Lately
Fruit bouquet
didn't last long and YUM!
Picture I took of my calendar.
Baby #5 would have fit perfectly in the middle.
Mirren got the cutest smile on her face standing here all posed,
and then I noticed, she had on her Sunday shoes
aka her dancing shoes for this moment in time. :)
Dancing
More dancing
Most dancing
Time to stop and smell the roses
Judge me if you will, but when you stumble upon this cute bow that you made
and Lochlan and his beautiful head of hair is right there,
tempting you to see just how beautiful it would look on him if he was a girl,
wouldn't YOU put it on him too?
And look, it WOULD look so dang cute.
But he's a boy.
So I took it off.
Ha ha.
The many
varied
funny faces
of Lochlan
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