Day 6 - Triggers

Had a great walk yesterday morning, with meals that were spot on until about 3 pm. Reed left yesterday, as he often has to, to drive elsewhere for work stuff. He ended up being out of town last night as well and will be coming home this morning. But I realized something rather important. When Reed goes out of town and it's harder for me to have a quiet moment for sanity's sake or someone to back me up when all 3 kids are having emotional meltdowns at the same time, I turn to treats. I can instantly tell you where any junk food in the house is. It's amazing! It's like a radar or something.
     I don't know if you read this blog, but I find it rather interesting. www.themoments we stand.com
That is what got me thinking about it. She wrote a post about triggers for her and it really got me thinking. I've got to figure out healthy alternatives to my triggers.

Anyway, after a couple of reaches to junk food, I finally pulled out of that mode. Right around the time all the kids went to bed. ;) I drank a couple of really big glasses of water knowing I didn't want to feel like crap because of what I'd eaten, and had some good phone conversations with my husband. I felt much better. But this morning I feel disappointed. And grateful for the run I'm going on later because I need it to kind of let go of my frustrations and pent up energy. Seriously, someday I need a treadmill at my house so I can run  and have my kids safely with me. Runs are the best way for me to find serenity in frustrating situations and moments when I feel a lot of pressure to perform. LOL

Today will be a better day. I'm hopping right back into the saddle and acting like yesterday never happened. I'm grateful to be having a girls night tonight with one of my friends here. Those too are sanity savers.

Bronwyn Conversations Overheard

B: I'm not gluten free, I'm Bronwyn!

A: No, you're gluten free Bronwyn!

B: I'm not gluten free, I'm Bronwyn!

A: No you're gluten free Bronwyn!

B: *something indistinct was said here*

A:  I'm gluten free??

LOL 

Mirren is Growing Up - in Pictures

All my girls have worn these cute pajamas. Had to get a picture of her in them.

I finally finished Mirren's blanket on the day she turned 6 months. She loves it!

Here's what the middle looks like. Here's the story. See the little, hard to see thing hanging from the right side of the tree. It's a cocoon. And the butterflies to the left of the tree represent the rest of us. She was our cocoon waiting to come out and be a beautiful butterfly! :)

She had been rolling, hence the blanket all wrapped around her torso

Day 5 - I Can't Believe This is Working!

Hello my friends!

   Day 5 was a good day. Perfectly clean eating day, went for my run tonight and ran the whole mile in a little over 10 minutes which is an improved time for me. Yay!!!

  I have to tell you, I really didn't think I'd last this long. But it's nice thinking that people are cheering me along. Even if they aren't, don't tell me because I'm just pretending that they are.

Had a great talk with a friend today over the phone. That and a group meeting I went to tonight that is for birthmothers and women looking to place their unborn babies. I had the chance to have a good hash out session with the guy in charge and I left feeling so supported. And then the neighbor who just had a baby 5 days ago called us to ask us our opinions about how to dress their baby for bedtime. When did we become baby experts?!? That was unexpected and left me feeling kind of pleased that they felt so confident in our abilities.   Anyhow, I guess I'm trying to say it was just one of those everything just kind of went right today days. I love days like that. 

Day 4 - Swimming Lessons, Teething and Shots Oh My!

Okay, it's early in the day to be recording this but I went walking this morning for about 35 minutes. And had 2 great meals!! :) I'll add more at the end of today.

  I got Aftyn signed up for her swimming lessons today. Woot! That's our 2 oldest in swimming lessons. They both got swimsuits and swimming lessons for their birthdays, along with other small items.  I think it should be fun. I'm glad they're taking lessons from 2 different places. It might be a bit harried but it will be worth it. They only overlap by one week, so basically we'll be doing straight swimming lessons for 3 weeks. I'm excited. I think the girls will like it.

Mirren and her teething issues had some serious problems this morning. Right after I had fed Mirren and left to go walking, Reed walked in on the biggest diaper blowout Mirren has ever had. All of her bedding and her onesie is currently in the wash and evidently her binky was also involved. Lucky guy to have found that. :)  By the way, that is really not normal for this girl. She rarely has a blowout. I can maybe count on one hand the number of times that has happened. Thankfully.

Her eyes do what my eyes do. One gets smaller than the other sometimes when I smile. But you cannot deny what a sweet little smile she has!

 And last but not least, Aftyn got her 5 year shots this morning. As the nurse came at her with the needle, she tensed up and started saying, "I'm nervous" and other such things. She and I counted through each shot and when they were done I think she felt a lot better and wondered what she was worrying about. She did great! She is in the 58% for her weight and 89% for her height. She's such a funny girl. We made a quick trip to the dollar store to pick up a few things and I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with her. She is getting so grown up and really thinks about things. I sure love her. She even, of her own accord, chose to get a treat she could share with Bronwyn. What a kind sister.

Day 3 - Memorial Day

I woke up this morning and went for my 1 mile run. I ran about half of it and walked the other half. I was still feeling tired from last nights super long walk around the falls. I probably should have just run tonight but I had a feeling if I waited I wouldn't get my run done so on the other hand I'm glad I just got out this morning and did it.

I ate great today with lots of water until we had our Memorial Day picnic/dinner. I didn't go overboard. I felt like I ate within reason, with lots of healthy things like salad and watermelon. A handful of chips (small handful), about 1/2 cup of potato salad, and 1/2 cup of jello were my splurges. I could tell afterward though that the extra food hurt my stomach because I'm used to smaller meals.

I'm slowly started to get back to the point of remembering how nice it is to eat small frequent meals with lots of water. My body feels so light when I do that. I like that feeling. Also, I'm tired of gaining and losing the same "starter" 5 pounds. I want to smash through that weight and instead lose 20. But I'm taking it one day at a time and not getting ahead of myself like I'm prone to doing.

Aftyn has to go to the doctor tomorrow for her 5 year check up and shots. Poor thing. I talked to her tonight about it to help prepare her since her appointment is first thing in the morning.  She seems to feel okay about the shots but let's wait and see what happens tomorrow. ;)

Tonight after dinner we went to the park and the girls had lots of fun. Aftyn is such a funny girl. She so wants to make friends quickly but is unsure how to go about it. Once she settles in and has friends inviting her to play, she fits right in.  Reed and I were laughing at her and her funny antics. Bronwyn is totally different. She just joins right in and quickly becomes a part of things.

Also tonight at the park, Mirren was sitting and playing in her carseat. The angle was perfect so that I could clearly see two little lumps situated perfectly in the bottom of her gums. It kind of explains how screamy she has been lately. That's the only way I can describe what happens when she gets overly hungry or tired, she has this ear piercing high pitched scream/cry. It sounds like we're torturing her but she's just really mad. And when she cries like that she's usually crying real tears. What a girl.

Day 2

Ate great today! Frequent small meals, okay-ish with water, nice long evening walk with my family around the falls and temple grounds. We really enjoyed our walk. Something about being outdoors more really is awesome.
I think Reed and I have been in survival mode for so long, we just got used to eating crap food because it was quick food. Now that I'm becoming more aware of this, it's time to slow down and enjoy the things we eat, the time we spend as a family and not feel like we have to be gearing up with sugar or other stuff to make it through whatever is coming next in our day. I really want to slow down and enjoy this summer. I want to have lots of fun stuff planned for our older girls that will help them to make more friends and feel more a part of things. I'm so excited for this summer. It has so much potential. :D

Day 1 - A little late :)

So yesterday was day 1. My exercise for that day was weeding, jumping on the trampoline, scrubbing the trampoline and planting tomatoes and bell peppers. ;)  I would have liked to have a harder workout, like a run, but that just wasn't in the cards.

Awesome part of the day - no sweets were consumed! I did have a popsicle after working out in the yard, but that was it. I mainly focused on eating more regularly, more proteins and lots more water. My other focus is trying to spend more time outside. Something about being out in the hot weather makes me focus less on crap food and more on whole foods like fruits and veggies. I like that! So I'm also going to be shooting for about 2 hours of outside time a day. Maybe more.

We had a fun couple of hours at my sister Wendy's house weeding, planting a garden, and helping the girls pick up pinecones.  We came home, 3 of us took naps, and then had a late dinner followed by putting girls to bed and then Reed and I watched Operation Petticoat. He had never seen it and it had been awhile for me. Fun fun day! :)

Gotta Get Motivated

People, I need some motivation!

1. I want to be blogging more often.

 2. I want to get back into regular exercise happily.

I think I have the solution for which I am searching. Howsabout a daily blog post that might include something fun, but will also have me reporting what I did for exercise that day. I could seriously use someone to be accountable to.

Here's what I suggest for myself.
30 minutes of exercise, 6 days a week. I don't generally exercise on Sunday. It's my rest day. 

Other goals I have: Drink more water, try and eat 6 balanced meals of carbs and protein daily.
One vegetable. 2 tablespoons of oil, or half an avocado.

There you have it. Want to join me?  How motivating would that be to have others reporting on their daily exercise as well?!
Okay, so here is my promise.
I promise, that for the next 30 days I will report daily as to my exercise, except on Sundays.
Which also means I will be blogging daily.
I want to do this so badly but I think I don't trust myself anymore.
I seem to have no willpower.
Thanks for the support!!

At Lunch Today

Aftyn: Mom, when is my birthday?

Me: Tomorrow!

Aftyn: Yay, my birthday is tomorrow! I'm so excited!!

Me:Aftyn, can't you just stay 4 for awhile? I don't want you to grow up!

Aftyn: (With a big grin) No Mom! I want to grow up and be a big, strong Mommy!

Bronwyn: (With a big grin and said very enthusiastically) And I'm going to be a Daddy!!

I ask you, who wouldn't bust up laughing? Cuz I sure did. Followed by:

Me: Bronwyn, I sure do love you.

                                                :)

What do you do when the last thing you want to do is blog???

Seriously people. Sometimes when hard stuff happens in life, I just don't want to blog. But here I am anyway pushing through an emotional block of sorts. My kids are cute and growing and changing and I've got to get it recorded! After all, it's for posterity. :)  Sorry it's kind of a mish mash but if you were wondering about any of my kids, hopefully it's here for you to read.

Mirren. Mirri. Mirri-weary. Mirri-poo-poo. Our sweet little 6 month old has a plethora of names and smiles so sweetly at you with each one.  She started clucking her tongue a few days ago. It helps that I've been doing that to her since birth practically. I noticed, after lamenting for a few weeks that it might never happen, Mirren's hair curled after her bath today! I might just get lucky again with a sweet little curly headed baby for a few months at least! She is starting to teethe and chew and slobber on anything within her reach. Also, unlike either of her sisters who sat up early, she refuses. She would rather lay on her tummy and push with her feet and knees to move. It's fine with me. I'm not so anxious to have her doing anything her sisters did. I am thoroughly enjoying how different she has been from her sisters. It's kind of refreshing in some ways. She loves to snuggle with me when she's really tired. I love my snuggly sweet baby. I love how when she first wakes up she will reach for my face and so very gently touches my cheeks and kind of hugs me to her. I love love her gentle little spirit.  Except watch out for when she's hungry or tired because she has the highest pitched scream of any of my girls. It's ear piercing! She will be going in for her 6 month appointment on Thursday. I'm not expecting huge leaps in her numbers but as long as she's gaining weight and inches in length, I'd call her good!

Bronwyn had her 3 year wellness check today. She has almost hit 3 feet! Aftyn and she are so completely different, which is great! Aftyn was almost 3 feet at 2 years old.  Bronwyn's height is in the 16th percentile. Ha! She may be small but she makes up for it in personality. The doctor was trying to count the number of words Bronwyn uses. She said she counted well over 50. I went home and Reed and I estimate at least 150 and maybe more like over 200. She never stops talking!! She has opinions to share and stories to tell and things she wants to eat and lots and lots of other things you need to hear. :) We sure love her.  She also is a fabulous ballet dancer and OH SO dramatic about it. I have GOT to get it on video because it would be a pity to miss the opportunity. Recently when she opens books to look at by herself she says to herself "One day....". For nearly every page! She still takes naps about every other day. I love it and I hate it. For me it's usually based on how emotional she is being. If she's been crying and getting mad and it's about 2 pm, I send her to bed. 1.5 hours later and she's usually so much better. She is finally starting to be able to identify letters, she's great with most of her colors and does pretty well with basic shapes. She loves to pretend with Aftyn and get all dressed up like Cinderella. She is still learning to use her words instead of throwing a fit, but overall it's much better than it has been so I would say we're slowly winning that battle. We gave her swimming lessons for her birthday so that should be interesting and fun. :) She starts those in the middle of June. Her arm that was hurt healed so quickly, thankfully. After about 4-5 days she was starting to use it again without saying it hurt and now 2.5 weeks later she never even mentions it anymore. Everywhere we go, Bronwyn finds friends. No one is a stranger for long.

Aftyn is changing and maturing and growing up. She has been testing limits and boundaries lately which has been frustrating but (hopefully) she's figuring it all out and we will be done with all the ruckus that has been happening the last few days. She has her birthday in 3 days and is so very excited. She can be such a great example to Bronwyn and then at the same time make choices that just make no sense. I guess that's kids for ya. LOL  She loves to get herself dressed, finally, and pairs up some really interesting outfits. She wants to be like Bronwyn so much but I am trying to help her see how special and different she is. She is a great artist and really loves to draw and does a really good job! She can wrap her mind around some of the most interesting subjects. It amazes me. And the concepts she grasps astound me as she's explaining to me what something means. I love it! We are thinking of keeping her out of kindergarten next year even though mentally she seems very prepared. We are planning on moving in the middle of the school year and don't want her to have to cope with changing schools. She has had a hard time with all the changing of friends over the last few years with all our moves. We want her to feel established and grounded when she goes to school. Plus, really, keeping her out for one more year can't hurt her, it will only help her be that much more prepared for school. She has been expressing an interest in learning how to play the piano and we're thinking of putting her in lessons next fall. She will also be receiving swimming lessons for her birthday and I know she will love them! She was once a great swimmer and we're hoping that once she reacquaints herself with water that she will excel and get back to being the little fish she used to be. It's been hard with all the stresses of the last few years to give out girls a whole lot of normal childhood experiences such as riding bikes, having swimming lessons, going outside and playing with neighborhood friends, even having a safe outside environment to play in. We're grateful that we are starting a new chapter with lots of safe places to play here in our own backyard and lots of nearby parks. We love it! Aftyn just rode a bike with training wheels a little over a week ago on the sidewalk in front of our apartment complex. That was a first! I'm excited to be giving her these opportunities more and more and making them a part of our new normal.

Reed's working. A lot. He's been doing a great job at raking in the commissions. We like to chant a line from The RM whenever he tells us he's just sold something. I've even taught the girls and they love it! "A sale, a sale, we got another sale, boo-yaaa!".  Reed always smiles. I think he likes the encouragement and excitement from his girls.

As for me, I keep talking myself in and out of working out, running half marathons and stopping nursing our little Mirri girl. I don't do well with being overweight but I don't seem to have the discipline to eat completely perfectly so I can lose the weight while nursing. I much prefer when nursing is done just killing it on the working out and eating mostly right. ;) I really want to run a half marathon as part of my killing it and getting the weight off quickly but I know I probably can't train that hard and continue to feed Mirren what she needs to gain like she should. And of all my babies, Mirren seems the most attached to nursing at this point. Also, my milk supply has been really good and so a huge part of me doesn't want to quit nursing just because of myself. Oh the quandary. I mostly just talk myself down and commit to trying to go for a little run a few times a week and walk with my sister a few times a week. It can't hurt. I know this time is so fleeting that I have with Mirren and I'm trying to remember that and cherish it. Ha! So now you know more about the inner workings of my mind than you probably wanted to know. I love being a mom. I love my kids. I also have those days where I just want to hide from them and change my name. I do occasionally change my name but my kids just think I'm being funny. I guess it's not the same to call Mommy "Sally" or some other hardly used name. Mommy just gets used in vain too much, LOL. I can't believe I've been a mommy to my own kids for almost half a decade.

We recently got to go and see my birthson and his family. I love that my girls know him and want to see him. I love to see them interact. I love his family. I love him. Okay, time to call it quits. I'm tired. Sorry this is all so random but it's got to go somewhere.

Mirri is 6 Months Old

I thought it would be fun to give her a tiny bit of water 

to drink out of a sippy cup. 

I think she's found true love.

Just hugging her cup brought her so much contentment

 that she fell asleep on the floor while doing tummy time!

Here's to a new year

Lately I have become aware of a problem I have. May I share it with you? Since you cannot object, you get to hear about it anyway.
I love being a mom. I have dreamed of being a mom since I was a young girl who could carry around a baby and sing it lullabies. At the age of 8 when my siblings began having kids, I saw my dream taking shape before my eyes but for my siblings. I loved being an aunt. I still love being an aunt.
I looked at my oldest siblings and determined that they were great parents and made the whole thing look easy. Making decisions for your kids and sticking with them and knowing the goals they were working towards. It seemed so easy.
Then I became a parent. I thought life was hard trying to figure out why my baby was crying, how to get her to sleep unswaddled, how to soothe her irritated and teething gums and how to finally get more sleep at night now that I had something that interrupted my sleep.
Little did I know, those were easy problems.
I never knew I might struggle sticking up for my rules and boundaries for my kids. I never thought I would struggle just doing what is best for my family and not trying to please other people over them.
Sometimes I hate the fact that I want other people to like me. I hate that I am willing to compromise myself or my family because I don't want others to think me unfriendly, bossy, cranky or just plain rude. What I perceive as myself being unfriendly, bossy, cranky or rude could just be seen as having firm boundaries. And the fact is that I've never had anyone accuse me of being those things, but in my eyes I accuse myself for them. If I am involving others in my family's activities I just can't help but want to please the others instead of making sure that my family's needs are being met. D-U-M-B.

But no more! No more, I say!! I am vowing to be true to myself, to my husband, to my children and to those things that are most important to me and to my family. I will not compromise myself or my family anymore just to please others and make them like me. I won't be perfect at this, I just want to be better. I need to be an example to my children who may grow up to be just like me. I want more for them. I want them to be more confident than I am. And so, I vow for my 33rd year to be a more confident me. And now that I've said it, I'm holding myself to it. I hope you will too because I will need all the help I can get.

Flashback to young Alysa. And a seriously awesome perm.

The past couple of weeks in pictures

 We had a little Easter egg hunt in my sister Wendy's backyard. 

 The girls are wearing matching pillowcase dresses that Reed's cousin Amber, 

 who lives here in Ammon, made for them. 

      I thought it would be fun to get to see them all together. Linzy, Dillon and Wendy spoiled the girls and they had so much fun finding all the eggs. Then a few of us watched Flashbeagle. Awesome show!

We were invited to a friends birthday party where Aftyn got her face painted. Bronwyn flatly refused to have her face painted, surprisingly.

Mirren has become a side sleeper. And a tummy sleeper. And transitioned to not being swaddled WAY too easily. I got completely spoiled!

Alyson printed out a canvas of one of Mirren's newborn pictures for me. It's even prettier in person if you can believe it!

Aftyn's first pair of glasses! She has an astigmatism in her left eye and her right eye is suppressing. Having glasses is interesting. She has "lost" them a few times already, luckily finding them most of the time back in her bed where she tends to put them when she takes them off.

Random Bronwyn picture, significant because it was probably taken a day before Bronwyn's arm got hurt. Here she is just being her normal self!

Arm in a splint, in a sling. She was over at Aunt Wendy's house and was riding on her cousins shoulders. In coming down off the shoulders, her arm got hurt. We ended up taking her to a quick care because she was in so much pain. Still not entirely sure what's up but we are hopeful it's just a couple of pulled muscles that will heal quickly. But as far as we know, nothing is broken.

Still smiling though!

I gotta write!

I'm getting so far behind in writing here and keeping this blog updated with all the stuff we've got going on that I'm feeling like giving up. Me, give up?? NEVER!!!  So, here I am writing something that may truly be boring but oh well.

I've been meaning to document something important in my life. I am now gluten free!
Shocker, hmm?

It all started after I had Mirren. My swollen ankles just didn't seem to stay away. Sometimes I had normal ankles and then sometimes my ankles were back to my pregnancy ankles. Not pretty and also kind of itchy. Then the SUPER itchy calves started. Itchy ankles/feet AND itchy calves?!?  It was truly weird. My stomach was hurting, and lots of other strange things going on as well and I googled all the symptoms, just like you're not supposed to. Google told me I was gluten sensitive. I thought, why not? I will just give up gluten. I've got nothing to lose except swollen, itchy ankles and calves and a stomach that hurts.

I made Bronwyn join me since she had some symptoms that worried me and made me think she might have gluten issues too. It's been almost 2 months and I'd call it a success. Giving up gluten has helped me in so many ways!! Here is a list:
- no more foggy brain (I didn't know I had that until I gave up gluten. WOW! It's amazing!)
- no more swollen ankles or itchy feet or calves (I love having skinny ankles again)
-I have felt so much HAPPIER since I gave up gluten (Gluten can cause depression(!))
-no more stomach pain
-lost a couple pounds
-the bumps on the back of my arms are GONE. (gone I say!!)


I can't think of anything else but seriously I'm sure there are a lot more. Bronwyn has been much happier, her excema has improved to almost non-existent, and now she has more room for fruit in her diet. :) I'd say she's a fan.Also, I think she knows wheat makes her sick because all you have to do is tell her something has gluten in it and she doesn't want to eat it and doesn't complain about it either.
  I'm totally curious if anyone else I know is gluten free. Tell me in the comments and if you are share some recipes!