Are you ready to hear a whole lot of whining?
I hope not. I'm going to try to keep it to a minimum.
I can't tell you how much I would rather keep this to myself
but I think it's making the current pain I'm in worse.
Since we have moved here to Worcester, I have suffered 1 severely sprained/strained wrist, 1 slight
relapse with the same wrist, and several mornings woken up to a very stiff neck. The stiff neck I
attributed to the 2 colds I've had as well since we've moved here. You know, sometimes the achy yuckiness of a cold can move into the parts of your body where you carry stress. Well, I'm here to tell you that I now have a pinched nerve in my neck, which has given me a lot of food for thought that perhaps I've had stiff neck muscles and today's pinched nerve in my neck because of the current load of stress I'm carrying.
My stress level has been pretty high at different times since we've moved here.
It is stressful living in a new city, surrounded by risks I'm not accustomed to, drug dealers and scariness literally outside our door. My husband is gone A. LOT. Full time jobs have nothing on full time class loads. And I feel like I'm whining to a world full of other people who shoulder more stress than I do and carry it off with a whole lot more grace than I'm managing to right now.
I guess what I should be asking myself is what is Heavenly Father trying to teach me right now? Maybe he wants me to slow down, obviously he wants me to not get so stressed. Stress is something I've struggled with a lot in my life. I guess I need to learn better ways of handling it.
So now that you know why I've not been blogging this week, do you have any words of wisdom to pass along and make this time while we're in school any easier?
p.s. I miss home. In case you couldn't tell. I miss my quiet street. I miss my backyard for Aftyn to play in and run around in. I miss the playground close by that is nice and safe. I miss, I miss, I miss.
4 comments:
Yoga! You need to make sure that you take time for yourself after your kids are in bed or down for naps. As much as you feel trapped somewhat in your current circumstance, you need to feel a type of "escape"...and as much as it's not the type of escape you wish it was (like "home") you are going to have to figure out what your "new escape" looks like. (is is escaping into relaxation by doing yoga? is it escaping into the scriptures where you read about others lives from the scriptures and you take time to feel His love for you? Is it the daily phone call to a friend/family member while your kids are napping? etc), but based on the pain you are in it sounds as if you need a way to relax; a way to let go of some of the stress you are in. I would really like to teach you about an awesome relaxation method I learned last year. It is amazing! and will really help you put things in perspective. I promise. So seriously call me if you would like some relief from your stress. Know that you have many (siblings, friends and other family) who love you and think of you often. :) Love you, Jenn
Thanks Jenn.
I think these are pretty normal feelings related to leaving everything you know and starting a whole new adventure...ie...new state and town, new stuff hubby is doing, new time in your life, no family around. Yea...this is pretty normal. So..you are normal. Take heart. It would much better than thinking you are abnormal...like joining in with the drug users, telling Reed to make his own food and tend the kids all the time, and then spend all your hard earned student loans on a spa treatment for 3 weeks to recover from your wrist injury. Yea...you are making "normal" choices here. Go Alysa!
You need to make friends. And find a good safe park somewhere. The thing about living in such a stressful situation (aka:husband in school full time) is learning to live without him. Don't dwell on the time you are missing out on with him gone all the time, but dream of all the time you'll have with him once school is out. Not to mention when is the next semester break. I think learning to be happy apart from your spouse is a good thing anyway. Focus on that. Focus on becoming a better person. Or focus on developing better relationships with your kids. Invite some ladies from your ward to your house or to a park for a playdate. Make it a weekly thing. Force yourself to find positives in all things. Over time it will get easier, and I guarantee that you will look back on this time in two years and miss it terribly.
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