Christmas is coming.
I'm excited for it, because I am always
happy for moments in life when you get to celebrate.
I'm not excited to be so far away from family.
I'm excited for my two little girls who will be excited anyway,
hopefully, since to them Christmas is exciting in and of itself.
I'm not excited because for me Christmas means memories with family.
I realized that tonight, and so Reed and I sat down
and planned out a fun filled family night.
Somehow we haven't had a Christmas themed family fun night yet this season.
I'm sure it will help. I hope it will help. I want it to help.
I wish that Christmas could just be put off
until we had enough money to fly home
and THEN we could celebrate Christmas.
Who's with me?!? Nobody? Aw shucks.
Well then, we'll make do and figure out how to finagle
this whole "Christmas on our own" thing.
Wish us luck.
4 comments:
Hey...it never gets easier. I still miss family. I still wish I could be closer to them. I just am used to the feeling every year I guess. But it doesn't decrease the sadness. By the way...thanks for your kind christmas card. That was awesome!
I'm glad it made it - I wasn't sure I used enough stamps to get it to you! :) We'll make it through Christmas. We just have to figure out how to do it is all.
I have had those Christmases, Alysa. And they are hard... Ask Reed: he was there, with us in London, the year Samantha was born. It seems like it would be really special to have a newborn at Christmas right? Well, I suppose in a way, it was special. But mainly, I remember being so very exhausted, and so completely homesick. I cried off and on, alllll day long on Christmas day. I kept saying, "I hate that it's CHRISTMAS and I feel LIKE THIS!!" Yes... I wanted to just put off Christmas until I could be with the people I loved and missed so much. And what made it worse was, I called home to talk to my family, just ACHING for them... and they were all so busy, being together, celebrating, it seemed like they didn't have time to even care if I was there, or happy, or lonely or... Well, it wasn't great.
But along with those less-than-great memories, I have memories of snuggling with my newborn in front of the Christmas lights, rocking her in front of our Christmas tree, thinking of Mary and Jesus and that first Christmas night... they were away from home, far from family, and they had nothing. Nothing. It made me think, and feel some of the true Spirit of Christmas -- that year, and every year since.
I hope you know we DO miss you, and we hope you have a very happy, memorable Christmas this year! If you haven't yet, you should take the girls into Boston, to walk around Boston Common and the Public Garden to look at the Christmas lights there. It's absolutely MAGICAL, and will cheer you, I promise! Then duck into a Dunkin Donuts for some hot chocolate and treats. Family fun night, right there for ya. ;) I'm sure you'll make things Merry and Bright no matter what you end up doing... that's just the way you are, which is such a blessing to your family! Good luck, and big virtual Christmas hugs to you!
ps. Do I get any prize for the longest comment ever??
No prize, Kam, just a big thank you! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. The feelings you described are exactly the ones I've struggled with. Reed and I are now working together to make some memories as a family and traditions that will help us have something to hold onto this year. Because I feel like that's what we're both needing. I'm grateful to have my husband and girls to celebrate because imagine if I had none as many do.
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