Being Self Aware and Loving Yourself Anyway

My last post got me thinking, specifically the part where I said I was grateful for my husband, who loves me in spite of my messiness and who loves the parts of me that I don't necessarily love.

After I wrote that and posted it, I had the thought that maybe I shouldn't include such honesty. That there are parts of me that I don't love about myself. But people, we ALL have those feelings and thoughts. And just because I have those feelings today doesn't mean that I don't also see positives about myself in the same areas where I may struggle.

For example, I can be sensitive. I know, because people that I trust and love tell me so. And I can see it for myself. But I can also see those moments where instead of taking someone's words as a direct insult to myself, I can allow them to have their feelings. And I can try to see that though their words could be hurtful, I can just let them be said and move on. I don't have to be affected by their words or thoughts about me.

I guess I just want y'all to know, at the ripe old age of 37, I feel like I am learning to love more of my messy, unlovable parts because I am a product of my experiences and the people that I have loved and do love. And I'm proud of the years and thoughts and feelings and moments that make up who I am. Because who I am now encompasses all the good and the bad of my past and present. And without the lessons learned, I wouldn't be me.

I am learning that who I am is acceptable, and I mean all of me. All of the choices that weren't great, all the times I wasn't kind, when words I said hurt others, or the times I spent serving others out of love. Those parts are still there, and I am learning to come to a truce with myself. To forgive myself and try to do better. And to allow others the same privilege. Because no matter what, we are all loveable and worthy of love. Most of all, we are all worthy of each others love.