Here's to a new year

Lately I have become aware of a problem I have. May I share it with you? Since you cannot object, you get to hear about it anyway.
I love being a mom. I have dreamed of being a mom since I was a young girl who could carry around a baby and sing it lullabies. At the age of 8 when my siblings began having kids, I saw my dream taking shape before my eyes but for my siblings. I loved being an aunt. I still love being an aunt.
I looked at my oldest siblings and determined that they were great parents and made the whole thing look easy. Making decisions for your kids and sticking with them and knowing the goals they were working towards. It seemed so easy.
Then I became a parent. I thought life was hard trying to figure out why my baby was crying, how to get her to sleep unswaddled, how to soothe her irritated and teething gums and how to finally get more sleep at night now that I had something that interrupted my sleep.
Little did I know, those were easy problems.
I never knew I might struggle sticking up for my rules and boundaries for my kids. I never thought I would struggle just doing what is best for my family and not trying to please other people over them.
Sometimes I hate the fact that I want other people to like me. I hate that I am willing to compromise myself or my family because I don't want others to think me unfriendly, bossy, cranky or just plain rude. What I perceive as myself being unfriendly, bossy, cranky or rude could just be seen as having firm boundaries. And the fact is that I've never had anyone accuse me of being those things, but in my eyes I accuse myself for them. If I am involving others in my family's activities I just can't help but want to please the others instead of making sure that my family's needs are being met. D-U-M-B.

But no more! No more, I say!! I am vowing to be true to myself, to my husband, to my children and to those things that are most important to me and to my family. I will not compromise myself or my family anymore just to please others and make them like me. I won't be perfect at this, I just want to be better. I need to be an example to my children who may grow up to be just like me. I want more for them. I want them to be more confident than I am. And so, I vow for my 33rd year to be a more confident me. And now that I've said it, I'm holding myself to it. I hope you will too because I will need all the help I can get.

Flashback to young Alysa. And a seriously awesome perm.

The past couple of weeks in pictures

 We had a little Easter egg hunt in my sister Wendy's backyard. 

 The girls are wearing matching pillowcase dresses that Reed's cousin Amber, 

 who lives here in Ammon, made for them. 

      I thought it would be fun to get to see them all together. Linzy, Dillon and Wendy spoiled the girls and they had so much fun finding all the eggs. Then a few of us watched Flashbeagle. Awesome show!

We were invited to a friends birthday party where Aftyn got her face painted. Bronwyn flatly refused to have her face painted, surprisingly.

Mirren has become a side sleeper. And a tummy sleeper. And transitioned to not being swaddled WAY too easily. I got completely spoiled!

Alyson printed out a canvas of one of Mirren's newborn pictures for me. It's even prettier in person if you can believe it!

Aftyn's first pair of glasses! She has an astigmatism in her left eye and her right eye is suppressing. Having glasses is interesting. She has "lost" them a few times already, luckily finding them most of the time back in her bed where she tends to put them when she takes them off.

Random Bronwyn picture, significant because it was probably taken a day before Bronwyn's arm got hurt. Here she is just being her normal self!

Arm in a splint, in a sling. She was over at Aunt Wendy's house and was riding on her cousins shoulders. In coming down off the shoulders, her arm got hurt. We ended up taking her to a quick care because she was in so much pain. Still not entirely sure what's up but we are hopeful it's just a couple of pulled muscles that will heal quickly. But as far as we know, nothing is broken.

Still smiling though!

I gotta write!

I'm getting so far behind in writing here and keeping this blog updated with all the stuff we've got going on that I'm feeling like giving up. Me, give up?? NEVER!!!  So, here I am writing something that may truly be boring but oh well.

I've been meaning to document something important in my life. I am now gluten free!
Shocker, hmm?

It all started after I had Mirren. My swollen ankles just didn't seem to stay away. Sometimes I had normal ankles and then sometimes my ankles were back to my pregnancy ankles. Not pretty and also kind of itchy. Then the SUPER itchy calves started. Itchy ankles/feet AND itchy calves?!?  It was truly weird. My stomach was hurting, and lots of other strange things going on as well and I googled all the symptoms, just like you're not supposed to. Google told me I was gluten sensitive. I thought, why not? I will just give up gluten. I've got nothing to lose except swollen, itchy ankles and calves and a stomach that hurts.

I made Bronwyn join me since she had some symptoms that worried me and made me think she might have gluten issues too. It's been almost 2 months and I'd call it a success. Giving up gluten has helped me in so many ways!! Here is a list:
- no more foggy brain (I didn't know I had that until I gave up gluten. WOW! It's amazing!)
- no more swollen ankles or itchy feet or calves (I love having skinny ankles again)
-I have felt so much HAPPIER since I gave up gluten (Gluten can cause depression(!))
-no more stomach pain
-lost a couple pounds
-the bumps on the back of my arms are GONE. (gone I say!!)


I can't think of anything else but seriously I'm sure there are a lot more. Bronwyn has been much happier, her excema has improved to almost non-existent, and now she has more room for fruit in her diet. :) I'd say she's a fan.Also, I think she knows wheat makes her sick because all you have to do is tell her something has gluten in it and she doesn't want to eat it and doesn't complain about it either.
  I'm totally curious if anyone else I know is gluten free. Tell me in the comments and if you are share some recipes!

Spring Sewing

I have a problem. 

I'm pretty sure.

 I got the bug a few days ago to sew my girls some spring dresses. 

And it was like an insane itch, I had to scratch and scratch until every bit of that itch was gone! 

And now that I'm done 4 days after I started, 

it's time to get back to all the things that suffered 

while I pretty much only sewed for 4 days. 

My house is a TOTAL. mess. 

Please don't come over! LOL  

Here are my finished products. 

They all kind of coordinate. 

They are not perfect. 

But I love them anyway.

I am going with a gray shirt underneath, I think, and a belt that actually fits Aftyn rather than my belt which I just tried to see how it would look.

Bronwyn chose this pose. Right after I snapped it, she got a big grin on her face and wanted to see the picture. Can you say dramatic??  Also, toddlers in chevron maxi skirts - ADORABLE!! 

I just finished this today. Can you tell she's had it with me and my sewing focus the last 4 days??

I still have to finish lining Aftyn and Bronwyn's skirts, and a couple other little things.

 I'm so glad to be done but I am SO glad that I let myself 

get sucked into this fun little artistic practice. 

I have been SO happy the last few days. 

I really love creating!

Happy Little Lady

April Fools!

Yes. It is time again to catch up on what our girlies have been up to!

Let's start with Mirren. At least once a day, I wrap her up for her nap, lay her in her bed, binky her up and leave the room. Approximately 5-10 minutes later I hear excessive squeaks and sounds from her so I go in to her room only to discover her on her tummy, still wrapped. I laugh, roll her back over, and giggle at the proud smile she has on her face. I pull the blanket back up to give her a dark place to snuggle her face and 6 times out of 10 she goes to sleep. What a goof. Her proud little smile is so funny and sweet. She has begun making lots of noises with her mouth open and her tongue sticking out. And she really and truly had a belly laugh last night when I "goo"-ed at her. Evidently right now she is working on her talking skills. She's finally contentedly sleeping again after fighting it off and on for a few weeks but it was only during the day generally. At night she's still sleeping pretty good,  maybe waking up a bit more erratically in the morning for her first drink of milk.

Bronwyn just decided to tell us yesterday that she had an earache and had for a few days. Luckily, a little garlic oil in her ears and a very long nap and she felt better. Oh and some tylenol. She had her first dental cleaning yesterday. Possibly because her ear hurt and I didn't know it yet, she struggled a bit with wanting to open her mouth and have strange things going inside. But she loved the spit sucker! One oh so slightly annoying thing was the way the hygienists at the doctors office talked to her. Now call me a meanie, but knowing Bronwyn like I do, if you treat her like a big girl then she is more apt to respond like a big girl. The hygienists talked to her in baby talk. Seriously, she's almost 3 people. Anyhow, I kind of think that may have been why she wasn't as compliant because she felt like she could get away with it. And yes, sometimes it is tempting because Bronwyn can't always say her "R"s to talk to her like that but she can carry on the most enlightening conversations sometimes and tell you stuff that you didn't even know she knew about! Having had a personality much like Bronwyn's when I was little I see the merit in helping her see that she's more than just entertaining. She also has things of merit to say when she is taken seriously. Sorry, this is just a rant of mine. But she is fun and sweet and naughty. She has been on a coloring spree at my house again. Pretty sure every crayon in the whole house will be under lock and key for at least another 6 months. She colored on yet ANOTHER table. Heaven help me with this child. Luckily we replaced normal crayons with washable crayons about a year ago when this problem was REALLY happening all the time.

Aftyn continues to be her generally helpful self. She gave her first talk in primary this past Sunday and did so well. She memorized all the words to a song, she didn't know it was a song, and did it pretty much from memory with a little help from me. She was so proud of herself! Proud parent moment there.  She is so into pretending right now with Bronwyn and I love how much genuine love she shows to Mirren. She loves to help snap Mirren into her clothes and helping to change her wet diapers. She is always observing and watching and asks so many questions about things. It's fun to watch the way her mind works. We have finally reached a fun age where we can play games for Family Home Evenings and have treats and the girls love to lead the music to our opening and closing songs. Aftyn is a great leader and is learning how to help all of her family. She LOVED getting her teeth cleaned yesterday and had no worries at all. It helped that she remembers having it done before. I'm grateful for her positive attitude and the help that she can be to me. I can tell that she really and truly loves her family.

My favorite is when we are all gathered together doing something and Bronwyn bursts out with "we're a family!". What a sweet spirit of love and happiness that brings over us all. We sure do love being a family.

Yucky Monday's and Losses

The view out our master bedroom on St. Patrick's Day. No green in sight!

 Last Monday held lots of promise to be a fun holiday since it was St. Patrick's Day and all. Until we heard the wind howling. Aftyn said to me "Mom the wind is making noises!".  Not something we hear everyday. And then the snow started! And kept on going for a few hours. We just settled in to stay home and stay warm and un-winded and snowed on.

Aftyn and her puppy, Fluffy

We started a new job system at our house. The girls do jobs to earn marbles. When they earn enough marbles they have earned some spectacular something. Bronwyn has earned an ice cream treat and seemed to enjoy that. Aftyn has earned a few things. :/  Mostly because she grabbed something off the shelf at the gas station, wouldn't put it back when asked and when Reed tried to take it from her hand and she pulled back, the packaging ripped spilling candies on the floor. Reed had to pay for it and so Aftyn lost her almost full jar of marbles. She earned all the candies that she and Reed had to pick up off the floor at the gas station. Sad! But a good lesson learned I'd say.  She recently filled her jar once again after lots of work and she earned her puppy. He walks and yips and is so cute and soft. She adored him and carried him everywhere. 

Until today. See, Aftyn played with one of my earrings I left in the bathroom. Dumb me, I didn't put them back in my jewelry box after I switched earrings because it was right before church and Reed and the kids were waiting for me in the car. So I switched them, left my gold hoops on the bathroom counter and ran out the door. And promptly forgot about them until later in the afternoon after church. I dismissed the prompting I had to go and put them away and didn't think about them until later last evening as I brushed my teeth before bed. There was only one earring there in the bathroom. I searched the whole countertop and floor and the top drawer as well. Nothing. Fearing my earring had gone down the drain but not knowing for certain, I went to bed.
  I asked Aftyn in the morning if she knew what had happened. She blamed Bronwyn. I asked Bronwyn who really tried to come up with a good story of what happened, not unlike Anne of Green Gables and Marilla's broach. As she stood there really trying to convince me with her story and Aftyn was listening, Aftyn suddenly blurted out, "I did it Mom." .
I said to her "Okay, well if you did it then where is it?". 
"Oh, it fell on the rug." (meaning the carpet).
"Well then let's go look".
No sign of it. I asked Aftyn if she wasn't sure if it had maybe gone down the sink.
She answered and said that was what had happened to it. I still had hope my little gold hoop would be in the pipe under the sink and so I asked Aftyn to go get me a bowl so I could unscrew the pipe under the sink and get my earring out.
Long story short, no earring. My heart sunk. I have had those earrings for over 10 years. They
have become my go-to earrings. They were the only earrings I owned that I could wear for forever because they were made from gold and so my ears had no reactions to them.  I was so so disappointed and sad to lose that earring.
And our day became even sadder when Aftyn's puppy had to go to the trash so she too could understand how hard and sad it is when you lose something that you really really love.  Tears have been shed on both sides, but I think the saddest part was when her puppy was put in the dumpster and we both just had an empty sadness in our hearts. It's so hard when kids have to learn lessons like this. No one put situations like this in the parent handbook that I got. ;)  Hopefully this will be a lesson that stays learned and we don't have to re-visit with her again.

Now Bronwyn I'm not so sure about. That girl has an attention span of about 5 seconds and so it may be a whole lot harder to make an impact on her. ;)