What a week

Where to start. This week was busy and eye-opening.

My niece came to stay with us this week from Tuesday through Friday. I loved it! My kids loved having her stay here and I looked forward to her company and help. And oh what a help she was.
When I finally dropped her off Friday evening, I presented HER with a big candygram expressing my thanks for all of her help. She was my right hand lady. My number one help. The person who told Bronwyn to stop doing naughty things while I was busy preparing dinner. Having her here showed me a few things such as:

Reed's work hours are craziness. No predictability from day to day. Trips pop up the day of and off Reed runs, sometimes staying overnight with no prior warning, other than me advising him that he should probably pack some clothes and a toothbrush, just in case.

Because of this unpredictability to his schedule, he is stressed. LOL  Who wouldn't be? He has to prepare last minute quotes for people frequently and that eats into his weekends or evenings when he should be relaxing.

Because Reed is running around like a chicken with its head cut off, I am often the sole parent for our children on any given day. This stresses me as well. I miss my partner, the one who I can laugh with when something funny happens. I miss the predictable schedule that allows for Reed to take care of the kids while I go for a quick jog. The person who reminds me why it's a bad idea to eat my stress. LOL 

I know that I am not the only one who has these circumstances. I think these circumstances are made harder by having 3 little ones who are pretty dependent on me. Aftyn is a big help, Bronwyn is a little help, and Mirren just needs help. LOL

 BUT  I know these circumstances are not a good reason for me to feel held back. I know people who are successful at lots of things with this many children at home. And I feel mostly successful at life, except for my weight. I know that it is a bigger deal than I'd like to admit. I am currently at the heaviest weight I have ever been for a long period of time. Sure I've been pregnant at this weight before, but I was carrying a baby and knew the weight was for a purpose. This weight is really serving no purpose other than making me unhappy and putting stress on my joints and foot bones. I have started the process of trying to make weight loss a habit SEVERAL times since having Mirren but have yet to completely make weight loss my new habit. I have gained and lost the same 7-ish pounds at least 2 times now. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of making excuses for myself as to why I'm putting it off or making food choices that essentially mean the same thing. I'm tired of thinking ahead and then stopping myself because I'm not happy with my life right now. I have got to stop putting myself and my weight loss needs aside and make them my "4th child".

Also, what is up with not being happy with my right now. I want to be enjoying my life, these are formative years for my children! I want to remember them with happy memories, not sad unhappy memories of how I was stuck. I'm not making any commitments. I'm just going to say that it's about time that I stop putting off my happiness and make my life now the moment when I feel completely happy. In more ways than just weight loss.

Ouch

I think Bronwyn broke a bone in my foot.

It is aching.

I've been on my feet too much today but things needed to get done and

I didn't realize my foot hurt until midway through the day.

Tomorrow I will give my poor foot a better break.

I drank lots of water today.

And ate not so great easy to grab food so I could get my housework caught up.

No walking for me tomorrow thanks to the foot, but all will be well.

I've decided to just do what I can do and not sweat the small stuff.

Best of Intentions - Days 7-9

Well, the weekend kind of grabbed me and I'm only now out of its grasp. :)

Good eating moments to the weekend and bad moments too.
 But the thing I'm coming away from it with is sometimes something as little as making sure to exercise daily and making sure I'm getting in enough protein and water to keep up my milk supply for Mirren is good.

 It still ensures I'm doing good things for my body and that's good.

A new week and a new outlook and a new goal for myself.

And really what more can I ask for from myself?

 Details later today on how today actually goes. :)

Day 6 - Triggers

Had a great walk yesterday morning, with meals that were spot on until about 3 pm. Reed left yesterday, as he often has to, to drive elsewhere for work stuff. He ended up being out of town last night as well and will be coming home this morning. But I realized something rather important. When Reed goes out of town and it's harder for me to have a quiet moment for sanity's sake or someone to back me up when all 3 kids are having emotional meltdowns at the same time, I turn to treats. I can instantly tell you where any junk food in the house is. It's amazing! It's like a radar or something.
     I don't know if you read this blog, but I find it rather interesting. www.themoments we stand.com
That is what got me thinking about it. She wrote a post about triggers for her and it really got me thinking. I've got to figure out healthy alternatives to my triggers.

Anyway, after a couple of reaches to junk food, I finally pulled out of that mode. Right around the time all the kids went to bed. ;) I drank a couple of really big glasses of water knowing I didn't want to feel like crap because of what I'd eaten, and had some good phone conversations with my husband. I felt much better. But this morning I feel disappointed. And grateful for the run I'm going on later because I need it to kind of let go of my frustrations and pent up energy. Seriously, someday I need a treadmill at my house so I can run  and have my kids safely with me. Runs are the best way for me to find serenity in frustrating situations and moments when I feel a lot of pressure to perform. LOL

Today will be a better day. I'm hopping right back into the saddle and acting like yesterday never happened. I'm grateful to be having a girls night tonight with one of my friends here. Those too are sanity savers.

Bronwyn Conversations Overheard

B: I'm not gluten free, I'm Bronwyn!

A: No, you're gluten free Bronwyn!

B: I'm not gluten free, I'm Bronwyn!

A: No you're gluten free Bronwyn!

B: *something indistinct was said here*

A:  I'm gluten free??

LOL 

Mirren is Growing Up - in Pictures

All my girls have worn these cute pajamas. Had to get a picture of her in them.

I finally finished Mirren's blanket on the day she turned 6 months. She loves it!

Here's what the middle looks like. Here's the story. See the little, hard to see thing hanging from the right side of the tree. It's a cocoon. And the butterflies to the left of the tree represent the rest of us. She was our cocoon waiting to come out and be a beautiful butterfly! :)

She had been rolling, hence the blanket all wrapped around her torso

Day 5 - I Can't Believe This is Working!

Hello my friends!

   Day 5 was a good day. Perfectly clean eating day, went for my run tonight and ran the whole mile in a little over 10 minutes which is an improved time for me. Yay!!!

  I have to tell you, I really didn't think I'd last this long. But it's nice thinking that people are cheering me along. Even if they aren't, don't tell me because I'm just pretending that they are.

Had a great talk with a friend today over the phone. That and a group meeting I went to tonight that is for birthmothers and women looking to place their unborn babies. I had the chance to have a good hash out session with the guy in charge and I left feeling so supported. And then the neighbor who just had a baby 5 days ago called us to ask us our opinions about how to dress their baby for bedtime. When did we become baby experts?!? That was unexpected and left me feeling kind of pleased that they felt so confident in our abilities.   Anyhow, I guess I'm trying to say it was just one of those everything just kind of went right today days. I love days like that.