As I sit here, listening to Aftyn moaning and babbling to herself, trying to wind down enough to go to sleep, I am perplexed by a problem we're having with her. Hopefully all you mothers and future mothers-to-be can help.
Here's Aftyn's problem: She has stranger danger. Meaning, sometimes, not always, when someone holds her, she will begin crying a cry that's rarely heard coming from Aftyn. One of pitiful sadness and heartbreak.
She doesn't even cry like that when she's hungry! Yes, I am aware that she's really young to be having this problem, and I don't really know but it may be associated with when she's tired. I don't know what to do about it.
Specifically in the case of people who offer to watch Aftyn for us so we can go on dates or go to the temple - I don't want to subject Aftyn or the kind people who offer to a night of horribleness because Aftyn is afraid or unhappy. What would you do?
4 comments:
I've never had that problem. That's sad! What would I do? Well I thought of a few ideas but my advice to you is none of them. In my time as a mom I've learned that many times there are more than one right answer- and those answers could be complete opposites. Children have different needs. What I do is get on my knees and ask God how He wants me to help my child with whatever it is that is troubling them. You and Reed are entitled to such inspiration for your child.
Good luck!
You know, she never did that with me, but maybe it's because I sound a little bit like you. She DID do it with Brett though...we thought it just had to do with his facial hair or his deep voice. I think your friend is right, in that each mom and child are different and you are entitled to have that inspiration. I think she'll grow out of it and even if she doesn't I think it's good for her to be with others at times. She can see that she can be herself even when Moma and Dad aren't there.
For example, the nursery at church. There are some moms and dads who don't like to leave their children there who are crying. But the only way for their children to learn is for them to be left and see how they do without mom and dad. Some can be distracted after their parents leave, for some it might take a couple of weeks for them to feel a little more relaxed there, each child is different and with some the parents have to learn to let them cry a little and realize their child is as strong as they'll let them be.
But again, you're the Mom and I think you know the answer more than you think you do. Sometimes we doubt our feelings, but then later realize that is just exactly what was wrong. :) You are doing just fine. Keep it up!
I agree 100% with Jenn. I am clapping right now.
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Poor little Aftyn. She does seem quite perceptive, for such a little cutie girl. That must make you feel so sad for her. I once had someone tell me that although we hear our babies cry, and we come to understand most of their different cries, we don't really know what they might be feeling. So, we often place our emotions on them, even though that might not be what they are feeling at all... We say "she's scared" because we think "that's what I'd be feeling if I were her." Hmm. That's just what someone told me, and I don't know if I agree or not. I think she was trying to help me feel better about sometimes letting a baby cry. But it's soo very different when it's your own kid. Those Momma emotions run deep and protective.
I like what Amanda said. And Jenn. Miss you guys, seems like it's been a long time!
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