I Guess It Must Be Time To Laugh

When my life changed almost 3 years ago with our move to Massachusetts, I said that someday I would look back on our challenges there and laugh and laugh. Today I think it is finally my time to laugh. The challenges we faced and overcame there helped us to grow SO much and in so many ways we don't always recognize. I look back at the Alysa who moved there and I almost don't recognize her innocence or her stick-to-it-iveness. I was that Alysa and I am that Alysa. When we moved back from Massachusetts, our hearts were broken. The place that we were so uncertain of became the place we loved with all our hearts. That change only came because of our Father in Heaven's help and because we tried so hard to be who He wanted us to be there.
    Our broken hearts have had a hard time mending from our move. We lived with my parents until I finished my pregnancy, feeling so grateful for their generosity while we got back on our feet financially. We were blessed with a job, definitely not the one we thought we would find, but the one He had planned that would help us continue on our path that was divinely designed. We moved here to Idaho Falls. Mirren has been such a blessing in our lives and has helped us continue to feel our Heavenly Father's blessings daily. I can see how each hardship I have been through has only strengthened me for where I find myself now. How is it that every trial we come to feels harder than one we've had before?
    I know that what I'm going through now isn't hard, it's all about the attitude I choose to conquer it with. And yet, sometimes I can't see my way through my problems.
     Aftyn still struggles with our move from Massachusetts. She struggles with the places and people lost to her. Tonight, while discussing our future plans to give her her own room and lamenting that we don't have a bed for her but that we could get one for her, she broke down crying. She said to me "I had a bed! I miss my pink bed! And it had 3 pillows!!". I could only look at her in disbelief. We took down her little pink bed when she was barely 3 and traded it for the girls bunk beds. I honestly couldn't believe she still remembered something from over 2 years ago!  As I listened to her and encouraged her to remember with me all the lovely memories from Massachusetts, I listened to her sadness. And her heartbreak.  I am so grateful that life there became so good for us and for her. I'm grateful for the many many pictures I took while we lived there. But how to help my Aftyn who bottles up her sadness until in a moment of freedom she allows herself to let it out. It breaks my heart.
      I went looking through my old blog posts in search of pictures of Aftyn's pink bed because I made a promise to her that we would recreate her bed so she could sleep in it again.  I think that's why I find myself here, feeling nostalgic. And grateful. And like I need to allow myself to laugh.

Aftyn's pink bed. Oh my little little Aftyn.